On Joy, Trey Masek, and Hairless Women

One reason I love writing for NotGraphs is that, while I’m pretty filled with rage on a daily basis, this allows me to revel in the joy that baseball creates in my heart and my soul during those brief moments when I’m not up my own ass with self-important, self-righteous ranting. I love loving baseball, and I love that NotGraphs not only celebrates the stuff enhances my love of baseball, but pays me in real American dollars to write things about the things that enhance my love of baseball. Go NotGraphs, basically, is what I’m saying.

So it’s with some slight trepidation that I want to introduce young Trey Masek, the fifth round selection of the Chicago Bearcubs in baseball’s Rule 4 Draft. Why am I hesitant to introduce him? Because this could easily be taken as a post intended to shame a 21 year old kid. And I, in absolutely no way, want this to be a post like that. I mean, if I were able to talk to my 21 year old self, he and I would have a huge discussion about what a fucking idiot he’s being in any number of arenas, and that maybe he should tone it down with the being an immature little goblin of a man. And by all means, take an economics class like your grandfather wanted you to.

But I’ve digressed. Back to Trey Masek, a young man with a hopefully bright future, and a Twitter account. A Twitter account whose bio, until yesterday, read as follows:

 

That’s it! I’m sold. Trey Masek makes me miss my old lack of self-awareness. I wish I was still young enough that I could write that, and sincerely not see how ridiculous it is.  But I’m not, so I’m reduced to following this kid for the rest of his career and taking secret joy in each strikeout and inning, silently chuckling all the while. Sweet merciful Buddha, I hope he makes it into the Hall of Fame in 25 or 30 years. I think his induction speech would be fantastic.

Again, I don’t bring this up to shame Trey Masek. Somebody did do that yesterday, and he was prompted him to delete it. That’s a bummer. Masek and his former Twitter bio are reasons I love the game even more today than I did yesterday. They just make baseball better, with their random glorious non-sequiter-itude. So, thank you Trey, for making yesterday a little more fun for me. In gratitude, I want to introduce you to the woman of your dreams:

You kids have fun now. Have her home by 10:00.