Now Calling The Bullpen…

More on the new T-Mobile bullpen phone deal

[scrippet]
EXT. WHITE SOX BULLPEN

Phone rings. BOBBY picks it up.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello?

(Silence.)

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello?

Silence. Bobby hangs up the phone. Turns to MATT.

BOBBY THIGPEN
No one there…

MATT THORNTON
Maybe a prank call.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Yeah, or one of those spammers.

MATT THORNTON
I don’t know how they get these numbers.

Phone rings. Bobby picks it up.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH WHITE SOX DUGOUT

ROBIN VENTURA
Hey.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hey, was that you before?

ROBIN VENTURA
What?

BOBBY THIGPEN
I asked if that was you before.

ROBIN VENTURA
It’s sort of staticky. Let me call back.

BOBBY THIGPEN
What?

ROBIN VENTURA
Oh, crap, the Indians just got another hit.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Have Paul Konerko start throwing?

ROBIN VENTURA
What?

BOBBY THIGPEN
Okay, great.

Bobby hangs up. Phone rings again.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello?

ROBIN VENTURA
Yeah, is this better?

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello?

ROBIN VENTURA
Can you hear me?

Bobby hangs up. Phone rings again.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Stop calling!

ROBIN VENTURA
I’m just trying to tell you to get Veal up and throwing.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Sale?

ROBIN VENTURA
Veal.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Yeah, Sale. Oh, wait, hold on, I have another call.

Bobby pushes a button.

BOBBY THIGPEN
Hello? No, I’m not looking to change my text messaging plan.

Bobby pushes a button.

BOBBY THIGPEN
You still there?

ROBIN VENTURA
Yeah. Is Veal ready?

BOBBY THIGPEN
Sale? No.

ROBIN VENTURA
Veal.

BOBBY THIGPEN
You know what, just send me a fax.
[/scrippet]





Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Dan Rozenson
12 years ago

Can’t wait to see the first sexting scandal as a result of the deal.

Antonio bananas
12 years ago
Reply to  Dan Rozenson

Or if criticisms of dumb moves. Freddi Gonzalez “get Durbin up” “venters?” “No, it’s not the 8th” “bases loaded, one out, we need a ground ball” “yea….but it’s not the 8th…..” “You’re a f$&@king idiot”