Nickname Seeks Player: Vote on “Stainless Steel Meat Hammer”

On the meat-strewn convention floor, everything is decided by a mere preponderance, which, by design, lends itself to social discord and raised fists in the streets of America, which, in turn, leads to an agitated police force, which, in turn, leads to slaughterous crackdowns, which in turn delights the ruling class. And so it is with the nomination hootenanny for “Stainless Steel Meat Hammer.” The piles of dead speak to the rigors of the process, though, being dead, they speak not at all.

Nonetheless the Maximum Culminating Exchequer — the Maximum Culminating Sexchequer — has vetted the list and culled it for the betterment of the State. You may select, at great personal peril, from the following 10 names. So who, expendable citizens, shall be nicknamed “Stainless Steel Meat Hammer”?


Thank you for exercising the franchise.





Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

14 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Well-Beered Englishman
13 years ago

It’s all sort of “yeah, maybe…” until you reach Luke Scott.

olethros
13 years ago

I’m pretty sure Luke Scott’s nickname should simply be “fucktard.”

drewcorbMember since 2020
13 years ago
Reply to  olethros

Luke Scott had some good nicknames for Felix Pie.

Bryz
13 years ago

It can’t be Luke Scott. He’d take a rifle over a meat hammer.

Bryz
13 years ago

Although…. I did find this in the annotation of “Stainless Steel Meat Hammer”:

So this could be a player whose manner, bearing and playing style call to mind a blunt object.

Luke Scott certain does seem close-minded or blunt (if you allow the stretch of its meaning). Now I’m conflicted…