My New Favorite Player
Sonny Gray, Oakland A’s prospect.
Man i got jalapenoed at lunch.. Still suffering from the aftermath..
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 25, 2012
Oh my.. My little sister @KatieGray24 just farted and is trying to wave it in my face.
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 7, 2012
I don’t always drink beer but when i do.. Sometimes i drink root beer
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 27, 2012
Oscar Meyer weiners
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 27, 2012
Fell asleep on the couch last night at 11 and woke up in my bed. Hope my sleep walking is not coming back
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 4, 2012
Eating mystery meat for breakfast
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) January 31, 2012
My waitress has the worst name.. Inita.. Inita my drink Inita
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 25, 2012
My mouth is so numb numb numb numb
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 2, 2012
There is a blind man at the movie theatre..
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) January 30, 2012
Why are farts so dang funny
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) February 28, 2012
I hate croutons
— Sonny Gray(@SonnyGray2) January 14, 2012
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Oscar Meyer weiners.