Helping Murray Chass’s Headline

You may or may not be familiar with former New York Times sportswriter Murray Chass, and his blog. (That link to Wikipedia gives a decent summary: in short, Chass not a huge fan of statistics, bloggers, and Mike Piazza.) I leave it to others to cast broader judgment. I write this post only to express a little bit of confusion regarding his latest blog entry, featuring the headline:

WITH THIS WOULD-BE MANAGER,
V IS FOR LOSER

(Referring to Bobby Valentine, and his possible hiring by the Red Sox.)

Are there really no words starting with the letter V that mean loser, or something close?

Because that seems like an awfully weak headline if there’s any chance at all to find a word that starts with a V — or even has a V somewhere in it.

Faced with no better ideas for a post today, I decided to look for some possible alternatives. You may be able to do better in the comments.

My contenders:

1.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VERBOSE,
which he is, often to the detriment of his players

2.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VAUDEVILLIAN PERFORMANCES,
like wearing a disguise in the dugout

3.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR THE VOMITING
he inspires in me

4.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VAPORIZING
any chance to win a World Series

5.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR THE VENEREAL DISEASE
I wish he would contract

6.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VICTORY,
or, more accurately, the opposite of that

7.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR THE VEGETATIVE STATE
I dream he would be trapped in

8.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VIRUS,
infecting everyone around him

9.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR HIS VARYING AMOUNT OF RELIABILITY
as far as leading a baseball team

10.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VERMIN,
who don’t deserve the comparison

11.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VESUVIUS,
because I wish he would explode

12.
With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR THE VASECTOMY
his father should have had before he was conceived

or, the easiest, most obvious, and probably the best choice, if you read the article:

13. With this would-be manager,
V IS FOR VILLAIN

Now, really, how hard was that?