Mike Schmidt Will Have His 7UP Now, Thank You

It’s no secret that base-ballists everywhere are quite fond of the refreshing taste of 7UP. In the case of Mike Schmidt, the fire in the belly for 7UP became so strong — so fiery — that he installed beneath home plate a subterranean robot tasked with delivering ambrosial, restorative 7UP during the middle of a plate appearance. Bear mute witness:

You may have also noticed that Bruce Sutter knows, when it comes to highly acidic, carbonated beverages, there is a time for sipping and a time for painful guzzling. You may have also noticed that Dave Parker, quite understandably, prefers the taste of ambrosial, restorative 7UP to recording outs on foul pop-ups.

In short, nothing screws up a game of baseball quite like 7UP.