Hide Your Moms

Klout is perhaps the stupidest thing to happen to social media, it in itself not exactly high art.  If you haven’t heard of Klout, it allows you to see how “influential” you are on Twitter and Facebook based on some kind of algorithm Klout probably makes up as it goes along.  I myself am a 53, whatever that means.

One of the other, mostly insane, things about Klout is that it allows you to give other Twitter users a +K…again, whatever that is…designating their mastery of some subject, presumably as a sign to other Klout users as to who they should go to to decide what movie to see, or what car to buy.  Thanks to my idiot co-blogger on The Platoon Advantage and heterosexual life partner, Bill, and his efforts, I am decidedly an expert on “Moms” (tread lightly, fellows, for the mom I’m an expert on could be your own).

And the best part is, it keeps track of you whether you sign up for it or not!

Anyway, here are the overall scores for your favorite baseball-related Twitter feeds (higher is better), and the other ridiculous topics on which your favorite people are also influential, according to Klout:

Logan Morrison:  Overall Score-70  Influential about-Birds, Prince, Relationships

Keith Law:  Overall Score- 67   Influential about-Food, Cole, Melon

Peter Gammons: Overall Score-62  Influential about-Talk Radio, Health, Prince (Gee, people really love Purple Rain)

Brandon McCarthy: Overall Score-62  Influential about-Drawing, Mariah Carey, Paula Abdul

Rob Neyer: Overall Score-58   Influential about-Ron Paul, the NBA, and the Turner Broadcasting System

Joe Maddon: Overall Score-56   Influential about-Celebrities, Lightning, Churchill

David Cameron: Overall Score-53  Influential about…only baseball related things.  Seriously, Dave?  Get out more.

Dayn Perry:  Overall Score-48  Influential about-Tim Tebow, Chambers (???), Cars

and, not to be outdone, our fearless NotGraphs leader,

Carson Cistulli: Overall Score-45  Influential about-Amazon Kindle, Running, Helmet, Army

Truly, if I were to ask one man to write a book about running in the Army, where they wear helmets, that I could read on an Amazon Kindle, it would be renowned shaper of public opinion Carson Cistulli.  Who apparently doesn’t know shit about Prince, by the way.

Anyway, sign up for Klout, give them access to all your personal information, and be sure to give me a +K in Moms, since that seems to be the thing to do.  Or go bug someone else with your social media, you God damn kids.  Give Peter Gammons a +K in Prince or make Rob Neyer the Internet’s foremost authority on Ron Paul for all I care.  And stay off my lawn.