Gerrit Cole Has a Status Update

UPDATE: It appears as though Mr. Cole has been the victim of internetting roguery! Per Tim Williams of Pirate Prospects, Cole has exactly zero Twitter accounts. Sadly, it seems as though our attempt to take pleasure in the frailty of another has been thwarted.

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If you’re not familiar with it, Twitter is an online social networking website that allows users to share status updates — known as “tweets” — with friends and other “followers.”

Tweets can be about anything: about a restaurant you’re at, a sitcom you’re watching, or, for example, how you might quit baseball to dedicate yourself more wholly to America’s favorite psychotropic:

It should be noted immediately that the above could very well be the result of (first-overall draft pick) Gerrit Cole’s Twitter account having been hacked. If that’s the case, a word of advice to Mr. Cole: passwords with letters, numbers, symbols are most secure.

Note: it should also-also be noted that this, in fact, might be Gerrit Cole’s real Twitter account.

H/T: Reader Mike, code name “Mike”