Fullfilling Two American Dreams: Playing Baseball and Owning a Failed Business

It may be hard to imagine, fair readers, but baseballers didn’t always live the luxurious lives they do now. Before the contract boom of the later 20^th century, members of local nines made a fairly modest living, all things considered. Many don’t know this, but before Lou Gehrig came to prominence, his weekly pay consisted of $11, a handshake, and a coupon to a house of ill repute in Sacramento. John Thorn told me that story.

Many players of yesteryear actually held other jobs in the offseason to supplement their meager earnings. Many did manual labor in shipyards and warehouses, while others would travel north for lumberjacking jobs. Some players would try to cash in, if you will, on the fame attached to their names by opening their own businesses. While this plan was not flawed in concept – people have been capitalizing on their 15 minutes of fame for a very long time (see: Christ, Jesus) – the execution and/or business plans of some of these establishments left quite a bit to be desired. Behold:

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Dusty Baker’s Dusty Bakery (est. 1981, closed 1981)

Dusty Baker, the manager of the currently-first-place Cincinnati Reds, came from a long line of bakers, hence the name. His pastry lineage goes back to the 1700s, and his parents expected him to continue the family business when he came of age. But Dusty had a penchant for baseball, and showed some skill at the sport, so he defied his family’s wishes and signed with the Atlanta Braves. Years later, he tried to appease his father, now on his deathbed, by starting his own bakery. He hoped this gesture would make amends, and repair the relationship broken for so many years.

But there were hundreds of bakeries in Los Angeles, and so Dusty tried to make his stand out by incorporating his name into the theme of the business. It did not work. Customers complained of the air quality, and the atmosphere made all the goods sold taste like a fireplace or construction site, depending on the day. The bakery shuttered a mere two months after its opening. The day after it closed, Baker’s father died of scurvy.

Whitey Ford’s Whitey Ford Dealership (est. 1955, closed 1960)

Whitey Ford was an All-Star pitcher for the New York Yankees. This did not, however, provide him with the luxuries he thought he deserved. Hoping to benefit from America’s new love affair with the automobile, he and his business manager “Racist” Pete Henderson opened a sprawling dealership in Stony Point, NY. Though the clientele was limited by choice, Ford’s dealership did well initially, becoming the best-selling dealership in the county after its first year. They sold a record number of Fairlanes after running ads in the local paper stating “The Ford Fairlane: A Superior Car for the Superior Race.”

Ford’s dealership closed shortly after the 1960 World Series, when the Yankees lost the series to the Pittsburgh Pirates in dramatic fashion. Fans, upset that Ford was unable to relieve in Game 7, blamed Ford for the series loss, because Yankees fans have always been the worst, apparently. The costs to remove graffiti and repair the constant damage inflicted upon his business became too great, and he sold his assets off in November.

Woody Abernathy’s Wooden Haberdashery (est. 1946, closed 1947)

Giants pitcher and celebrated fop Woody Abernathy knew he didn’t quite have the stuff to last in the Majors, so he moved quickly to establish his clothier featuring garments made exclusively from wood.

Though he found a modicum of success with a line of underpants made from birch bark, Abernathy ran through his life savings quickly, and struggled to stay afloat. Despite the fact that he was in a great deal of debt, he was lucky enough to be current on his insurance payments, as his shop mysteriously (and quite easily) burned to the ground in 1947. Three casualties were reported as result of the blaze.

Ugly Dickshot’s Ugly Dick Shots (est. ?, closed ?)

Johnny “Ugly” Dickshot hardly made any money as a player, but was given coins as charity by people who simply felt sorry for him. He saved his nickels and he saved his dimes, and eventually opened Ugly Dickshot’s Ugly Dick Shots. Little is known about this establishment, including what it actually did. This author provides the three following possibilities:

1. It was a portrait studio selling photos of ugly people named Dick.
2. It was a place where one could, if one were so inclined, get kicked in the crotch for a small fee.
3. It was a film studio, specializing in capturing footage of grotesque male genitalia.

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Though large contracts and sponsorships have curtailed named-based businesses amongst current baseball players, there are still opportunities to be had. Possible endeavors include Andre Ethier’s House of Ether, Hunter Pence’s Fences, and Mikes Trout and Carp’s Mike’s Trout and Carp.