Freese! Or I Will Something Something Pun

I am wagering you, dear reader, just read the above caption in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.

Do not worry, such is only normal when face-to-monitor-to-face with Arnold’s acting majesty. From his treasure trove of a film archive, most critics agree that A. Schwarzenegger’s best on-screen performance was as the baby-toting lead in Junior, but his second-best feat of ACTING was no doubt his risky portrayal of Mr. Freeze in one of the batman movies oh who really gives a crap.

Well, little-beknownst to, y’know, everyone, Mr. Freeze is in fact the real-life father of base-baller David Freese, who’s unimaginable Game 6 heroics in the 2011 World Series not only amazed a nation (America) and sickened a sub-nation (Texas), but also no-doubt earned the highest marks from his fictional real-life father.

Now, the government removed the cameras I had stowed in Mr. Freeze’s home office, or something, so we are left to our imagination-bones to try to figure out what his immediate reaction was / would have been ’twere he not one of the worst fake super-villains of all time.


Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.

A multitude of thanks to Brian S for the idea, the image, and one of the poll questions. Consider me merely a conduit of his genius.





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Semi Pro
13 years ago

Arnold’s portrayal of Mr. Freeze may be one of the worst ever, but Mr. Freeze the super-villain is awesome. You clearly haven’t watched Batman: The Animated Series.

Semi Pro
13 years ago

It’s hard to even call him a super-villain sometimes. He seems to be a victim of circumstance – he would not be a bad person had he not been screwed over by so many people. Much like if Bruce Wayne’s parents hadn’t been killed, there probably wouldn’t be a Batman.

Anyway, thanks for clarifying your stance. I can continue reading NotGraphs now.