Found Poetry!

As we learned in a previous edition of Found Poetry(!), the good patriots at Reddit are fond of pondering the baseball bat and its utility for dispensing righteous justice. The reader — the handsome reader — will be pleased to know that Reddit Nation is once again musing on this subject dear to us all. This particular urgent matter? Whether a baseball bat or a knife is most desirable for vanquishing scoundrels in need of being vanquished. Let us now read poetry!

Are you military or a martial artist?

I was in a fight with a guy who had a bat once …

I’ve been beaten down with both, and shot.

I’m a professional knife thrower.

I’ve taken an interest in European sword fighting.

I study European Medieval martial arts.

I use both long sword (which is a two handed weapon, mind you) and a one-handed sword with a buckler.

I’m in the Mereenese fighting pits …

I’ve been trained in martial arts for years, including fighting an enemy who has a knife or a long stick/club/bat.

I’m 6’4″ @ 230lbs.

I like slitting things open …

I just started carrying a gun.

It’s 4 AM here and I can’t really think so clearly.

A moderate injury is an acceptable price to deal a debilitating blow to the enemy.

A grown man’s tibia will break with just 47 Joules of transferred kinetic energy.

Knives are fucking awesome …

The stakes are high here.

BEAR JEW!

Thank you for helping keep poetry alive.