Found Poetry!

Today’s instance of baseball-related found poetry comes to us courtesy of a Reddit thread on the subject of whether a wooden bat or an aluminum bat is preferable for purposes of defense of self, home, God, and country. So, with editorial discretion and copy-and-paste functionality, let us begin …

I like the wooden bat. It feels more manly.
Bonk!
Break wooden bat over head, now stabbing weapon.
Don’t put nails in it. That will raise a lot of questions and ill will in court.
But … A spiked wooden bat is better …

Slamming someone in the head with an aluminum bat …
An aluminum baseball bat is a good back up in case your gun misfires.
Makes a better clang when you brain someone with it.
Bonk!

The wooden and the aluminum bat would fit up an intruder’s ass just the same.
Slamming someone in the head with an aluminium bat …
Trick r Treat. Yes.
Bonk!

The body …
Do you chop it up or incinerate? Bury it?
Where?

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