Finally, Some Actually Serious Beard Research

If there’s one thing that gets Carson Cistulli excited, it’s probably, like, fried cheese curds or unwatched episodes of Community or, of course, the ladies. But if there are, say, ten things that get Carson Cistulli excited, one of them is certainly the application of quantitative analysis to matters aesthetic.

Dave Dancis has submitted for the public’s consideration what likely represents an important step forward for this niche scientific field in his recent post on performance enhancing beards at Fantasy Baseball 101.

Below are the fruits of what one imagines were probably the entensivest of labors. However, in the spirit of serious peer review, I’ll also suggest that Dancis’s research might suffer from some sample-size issues.

Regard:

H/T: Sons of Steve Garvey