Eno Sarris’s Entirely Unhelpful Pronuncuation Guide

RotoGraphs editor Eno Sarris has demonstrated — during any number of appearances on FanGraphs Audio and/or VIP-type meetings among the site’s VIP-type managers — has demonstrated a singular ability to mispronounce every name there is, mostly.

With the existence of said ability having been established, NotGraphs presents here an excerpt from Sarris’s Entirely Unhelpful Guide to the Pronunciation of Certain Baseballers’ Names — with audio clips of Sarris himself abusing the spoken language much like one might a disobedient horse.

While we make no effort here to say what the right pronunciations are of the following prospects’ names, we will say that all of Sarris’s attempts are very likely wrong.

1. Cavan Cohoes, SS/OF, Seattle
Cavan Cohoes

2. Mike Foltynewicz, RHP, Houston
Mike Foltynewicz

3. Rougned Odor, 2B, Texas
Rougned Odor

4. Keyvius Sampson, RHP, San Diego
Keyvius Sampson 2

5. Matt Szczur, OF, Chicago (NL)
Matt Szczur