Deciphering “Battlefield Baseball”

Before I post the video, some observations …

  • The civil-defense siren you hear early on means either an F-5 tornado is bearing down upon you or a game of ball — one in which the score is kept in the spilled blood of doe-like innocents — is about to be played.
  • At 0:22 … that’s the elusive and perhaps chimerical gyroball, right?
  • After that … corpses, heads on pikes, zombies in “Hogan’s Heroes” outfits, an umpire who lets it all happen. Perchance the new market inefficiency?
  • You know something is edgy when each “s” is replaced with a “z.” But you really know something is edgy when the captions are aflame like something slathered in Zel Jel. After all, words are ablaze only when conventions are being violently subverted.
  • Corpse!
  • 1:01 … No way in hell is that a hittable pitch. Not even Vlad wearing Slinky Crazy Eyes swings at that slop.
  • And who among us has not secretly wished for a slick-fielding Little League center fielder to spontaneously combust?
  • And finally we have what appears to be Dallas Green impaled with bats. And then three cheerleaders whose bloodlust knows no bounds and then a young, budding sociopath wielding a propane torch. Or a harmless maple branch. Whatever.
  • At this point, what can I do but roll tape?





    Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

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    camisadelgolf
    14 years ago

    It looks like Baseball Simulator 1.000 for NES. I need to find this movie asap.