Commemorative GIFs from R.A. Dickey’s Final Start
All surfers of the internet receive three free GIFs from R.A. Dickey’s final start of the season tonight in Miami (box).
Below are the three knuckleballs Dickey threw tonight that both (a) moved the most (calculated Pythagoreanly, that is) and that (b) were also strikes.
3. Turner, Fifth Inning
This knuckleball to opposing pitcher Jacob Turner features 4.1 inches of gloveside run and 11.1 inches of “rise” (vertical movement that is, relative to a ball unaffected by air current or drag):

2. Lee, Fourth Inning
This one, to Carlos Lee, has 6.1 inches of gloveside run and 10.3 inches of rise:

1. Stanton, Fourth Inning
This one, to Giancarlo Stanton, has 5.9 inches of gloveside movement and 10.8 inches of rise:

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
Pants have been shat