Chuck Knoblauch Is Here to Help
If hot success eludes you, then baseball sort-of great Chuck Knoblauch is here to help. How exactly? This is how, exactly:
I have no idea whether the purchase of the above bit of Textile-Based Merchandise entitles the doer of business to a Twitter follow from Mr. Knoblauch, but that’s hardly the point. The point, friends and lovers, is that everyone you meet will be under the impression that baseball sort-of great Chuck Knoblauch follows you on his Twitter computer. As Martin Heidegger once queried, “Who gives a damn shit if what you purport to be true is actually true, baby!” The question is rhetorical, which is why there’s no question mark.
As we’ve told you before, NotGraphs is nothing if not an appointment with the secrets of triumph — lion-hearted triumph at the office, in the gym and in the bedroom. I scarcely need say this, but the same goes for a t-shirt that claims Chuck Knoblauch follows you on Twitter.
Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.
Chuck Knoblauch does follow me on twitter. When do I get my shirt?
Have you learned nothing? It’s not the fact that makes it true, it’s the t-shirt.
Until you acquire a t-shirt, he does not follow you on Twitter. Even if he does.
That’s what I was trying to say.