Ceremonial First GIF: Jose Fernandez

Miami right-hander and 20-year-old Cuban emigre Jose Fernandez has, just seconds before the composition of these very words, finished his first inning as a major-league pitcher, retiring the New York Mets on three consecutive fly-ball outs (box).

And by virtue of this post, reader, you will be able to tell your grandchildren when you’re much older and much less useful than right now: “I was there, a long time ago, when Carson Cistulli made the first GIF of Jose Fernandez’ first pitch.”

Will you cry? Yes, a little. But only because of your sciatica. Because you will develop terrible sciatica, it seems.