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Deciphering “Battlefield Baseball”

by
December 15, 2010

Before I post the video, some observations …

  • The civil-defense siren you hear early on means either an F-5 tornado is bearing down upon you or a game of ball — one in which the score is kept in the spilled blood of doe-like innocents — is about to be played.
  • At 0:22 … that’s the elusive and perhaps chimerical gyroball, right?
  • After that … corpses, heads on pikes, zombies in “Hogan’s Heroes” outfits, an umpire who lets it all happen. Perchance the new market inefficiency?
  • You know something is edgy when each “s” is replaced with a “z.” But you really know something is edgy when the captions are aflame like something slathered in Zel Jel. After all, words are ablaze only when conventions are being violently subverted.
  • Corpse!
  • 1:01 … No way in hell is that a hittable pitch. Not even Vlad wearing Slinky Crazy Eyes swings at that slop.
  • And who among us has not secretly wished for a slick-fielding Little League center fielder to spontaneously combust?
  • And finally we have what appears to be Dallas Green impaled with bats. And then three cheerleaders whose bloodlust knows no bounds and then a young, budding sociopath wielding a propane torch. Or a harmless maple branch. Whatever.

    • At this point, what can I do but roll tape?


    Now Playing: “Jews and Baseball”

    by
    November 18, 2010

    You might have caught word of this around the interweb, but it appears to be a real thing now: Peter Miller’s Jews and Baseball: An American Love Affair has opened in New York and Los Angeles — and will be doing the same in Kansas City today (Friday, the 19th). A general opening will occur sometime in the following weeks.

    So far as a proper review goes, it’s with all my heart that I regret not being able to offer one. However, allow me to state with totally undeserved authority five things about the film:

    • Sandy Koufax agreed to be interviewed for it. (That’s him at around the 1:53 mark.)
    • There appears to be no footage of fly balls clanging off Ryan Braun’s glove. This I find terribly misleading.
    • Director Peter Miller has worked pretty extensively with Ken Burns, meaning this film is almost definitely well-crafted.
    • It also means that viewers should prepare to be bullied emotionally by musical cues (the hopeful “whoosh” around the 1:28 mark, for example).
    • Being bullied by Dick Dale and the Del-Tones is considerably less objectionable.

    H/T: Ben Platt at MLB.com


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