One thing I’ve noticed people do on the internet sometimes, is they write a post and title it the title of something else that’s on the internet — something that’s current and/or popular. This way, the writer makes it clear to everyone how he or she knows about this current and/or popular event.

Like if a player left his team because the team didn’t win a World Series, you could maybe title a post about him “[Team Name] Should’ve Put a Ring on It” — which, on the one hand, refers to a World Series ring but, on the other, also refers to this song by Beyonce I saw one time. I bet a lot of people would like that and then read the article.

Anyway, I mention it because yesterday I saw how Aramis Ramirez walked away as his manager Mike Quade was being ejected from the Cubs-Brewers game. It reminded me of this video I saw (below), which, given the 23 million views, I’m guessing is pretty popular. I got the idea: “I should title the title of my post something similar to that video.”

The video I’m talking about is below, in case you haven’t seen it. I’m pretty sure that’s not the real Neil Diamond, but whatevs.

PS: if you guys are into this post, you should totally like it on FaceBook!!!

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What was once a fairly compelling race in the NL Central has devolved into a pants-down spanking as stripped of dramatics as it is of those pants I just mentioned. I tell no tales when I say this GIF of dogs embedded below provides a fairly accurate retelling of what’s unfolded here in the Beer Belt.

Position your cursor over the image below, and then your cursor will transform into the white-gloved hand of Jeeves or perhaps Julie Andrews. At that point you may click, and enjoy the punchline of this sprightly dispatch!

In case you were wondering, this is the moment at which the dog in pursuit gets dry-gulched by the hedgerow.

So congratulations, Brewers. You and your perfect fur the color of Julie Andrews’s gloves …

(Canine-style butt-sniffing: IHC)

The footage you see here comes to us courtesy (a) the eighth inning of Sunday’s Giants-Astros game and (b) Houston left fielder J.D. Martinez’s Arm of Wonder.

If we presume that the above represents a battle of sorts between the aforementioned Martinez and the natural force Gravity, then we must also presume that Gravity will want a rematch at some point so’s to even the proverbial score.

I’ve never personally hit a home run in a major-league baseball game. However, were I to hit a home run in that type of baseball game, I’d probably make sure to do a weird, flamboyant helicopter motion thing with my left arm — like the one Dan Uggla performed, I mean, just after hitting a home run against Diamondback rookie Wade Miley on Saturday night.

No true child of the 80s is able to hear the words “sweep the leg” without feeling inside his heart and his mind and his other, more sordid, parts a sense of loathing for so-called “sensei” John Kreese and his unethical karate tactics.

The five months that Madison Bumgarner spent in the 80s were, very clearly, not enough to produce within him this same aversion to leg-sweeping, as last night, in the first inning of the Giants-Braves affair at Turner Field, he felled not Daniel Russo, but Daniel Uggla, via what appears to be a cut fastball — the footage of which has been GIF’d and embedded below for your pleasure.

It’s only a matter of time, of course, before Uggla himself utilizes a metaphorical crane kick to knock out this metaphorical Johnny Lawrence and win the metaphorical All Valley Karate Tournament.

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Daniel Bard threw 17 pitches in the Red Sox’ victory over the Yankees on Sunday night, but only one those (i.e. those pitches) was a changeup — the 3-2 pitch to Mark Teixeira you see GIF’d below.

Before we cut to the videotape, some notes on Bard’s offering:

• Per linear weights, this lone pitch was worth -0.35 runs — that is, it cost the Yankees that much.

• The pitch was recorded at 93.9 mph by Pitch F/x. Among pitchers who throw a changeup more than 1% of the time, Bard’s is the fastest, averaging 90.5 mph. This pitch was over three miles per hour faster than that.

• Provided the Pitch F/x data is correct in this situation, Bard’s changeup appeared to break even more than usual. On average, Bard’s changeup features 8.8 inches of armside run and 2.4 inches of rise (relative to a spinless ball, that is). This pitch (courtesy Brooks Baseball) was recorded as having 9.5 inches of armside run and 4.5 inches of drop.

If there’s a drawback to this situation, it’s that ESPN doesn’t appear to use the straight-on center-field camera at Fenway, which would give us a sense of how impractical Bard’s change really was.

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Much like Big Bank Hank, Mike Axisa (of River Ave. Blues and RotoGraphs) is both (a) 6-foot-1 and also (b) tons of fun. (It’s also very possible that, like the aforementioned Hank, he owns a color TV.)

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It’s a well-known law — authored originally by Hammurabi and enforced in 49 of the 50 states (frigging Vermont hippies) — that one must, after scoring a run, return to his dugout and high five all present.

Nor’s there generally any reason to enforce said law: run-scoring is the currency of success in baseball, and success, as everyone knows, correlates perfectly with personal happiness.

There are times, however, when one is moved only to fulfill the letter of law — as the above footage reveals.

This past Friday, the Royals scored 12 runs en route to an Official Blowout of the Cleveland Indians. Though undoubtedly pleased by their performance, the Kansas City-ers can be forgiven if — by the time Alex Gordon scored in the very first inning of the very next game against the very same team — if the ritual of the celebratory high five had become commonplace, tedious even.

So it’s no surprise that Gordon and Friends took the opportunity to utilize what is known as the Air Five. The Air Five technically satisfies the most basic obligations of high-five code while also requiring minimum effort/enthusiasm.

In fact, this ought to come as good news for Royals fans: not since May 13th, 1994 — en route to a 16-6 win authored by Mark Gubicza — has the Air Five been spotted in a Royal dugout.

The attentive reader will notice that yesterday, at mission control, I wrote a love letter to Clayton Kershaw and his newfound command.

Please believe me, reader, when I say that said piece does not represent the last of the electronic ink I’ll be spilling on Kershaw and/or his Ample Talent.

In fact, in what I’m calling GIF-imaufry (in homage to our white-bearded forebears), I present this: five sliders, from Clayton Kershaw’s hand to your eyes.

All five of the GIFs you see here are from Kershaw’s 12-strikeout performance against the Giants on July 20th. They all contain footage of Kershaw inducing a swing and miss on a slider. (Per Brooks Baseball, Kershaw got whiffs on six sliders. I didn’t find the sixth one. Che to the sarà, is my thought on that matter.)

Otherwise, um, here:

1. Cody Ross, Bottom 1st:

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In the great game of baseball, when a pitcher and his catcher are in sync, that’s when the magic happens. And by “the magic,” I mean, in this case, a 3-0 Toronto whitewash of the Baltimore Orioles. Ricky Romero and J.P. Arencibia, they’re in sync. I mean, as evidenced above, really  in sync.

At first glance, it looks like the umpire is about to get in on the bunny hopping action, too. But, alas, he doesn’t, thus rendering this hot GIF very slightly less awesome than it is.

May Ricky and J.P. hop together forever.

Addendum: While the umpire didn’t get in on the action, Jose Bautista did, at third base, leaping to successfully grab a line drive off the bat of Baltimore’s Blake Davis on this very play. Obviously, Romero and Arencibia willed Joey Bats to the ball.

Bunny hops in the direction of @james_in_to. His animated GIFs make the world a better place, and you can find them, mostly Blue Jays related, at blue jays bits.