At no point during his life is the present author more content than when divesting a local pub of its principal commodity and slapping briskly the backs of bosom friends* deep into the night. As the sort of person who has tended rather towards the itinerant side of things, however — and one who also works from home — the author finds himself reveling arm-in-arm with likeminded companions less often than he would prefer.

*A different enterprise altogether, this, than slapping the bosoms of one’s back friends. That sort of thing is looked upon dimly, it would seem.

All is not darkness and brooding, however. By means of the present weblog, that same author is often able to facilitate impromptu celebrations of human potential, which everyone agrees is the best sort of celebration going these days not including the words bunga or bunga.

Of late, concerned reader Michael Spitznagel has suggested that perhaps it would be good and very good were the author to consider the virtues, once again, of Oakland right-hander A.J. Griffin’s curveball.

By way of slow-motion footage from Griffin’s most recent start against Tampa Bay (box) — of a curveball to strike out Matt Joyce — the author has consented. As an added service to the Public, that same author has placed the rather large animated GIF file of Griffin’s curve below the fold.

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While it’s fair to say that almost all of Danny Salazar’s pitches from his start today (Sunday) touched the author either on, or at least near, his heart, it’s also the case that — just as a flamboyant and bloodthirsty tyrant loves one pair of tasseled epaulettes more than all his others, and just how a parent always loves one particular child more than the rest of his or her other children — that the author wasn’t immune from making note of the relative charms of Salazar’s assorted offerings today.

Distinguished primarily for its radiance and majesty is the split-change embedded here and thrown by Salazar to strike out Detroit’s Don Kelly to end the fourth inning. Meditating upon it, one is overcome by the sensation that there’s food in the pantry, a fire in the stove, and all is right with the world. One is also unsurprised to learn that Salazar presently has one of the ten-best xFIPs among starters with 20-plus innings in that role.

Trevor Plouffe hit a
double against Yu Darvish
in his next at-bat.

This has been another NotGraphs Haiku. I’ll stop soon. Maybe. Probably.

Thanks to @lonestarball for the GIF, and to Darvish for the ridiculous hook.

Shortly after finishing his (likely flawed) translation apropos Wladimir Balentien’s pursuit of Japan’s single-season home-run record, the present author pointed his internet browser to YouTube, intent on consuming footage of that same gigantic Dutchman hitting at least one of his 52 home runs this season.

With a view both to (a) giving the reader a head start in his/her own pursuit and also (b) producing content out of almost nothing at all, the author has embedded here above-average video of Balentin’s eighth home run this season, from back at the end of April.

Regard:

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Anthony Gose can’t hit. It stresses me out. But I’m trying to focus on the positives, you know? Life’s too short, and the Blue Jays are far too bloody awful.

So, today, while I rue Toronto’s lost season, I also celebrate one of the finer catches of the year. You should, too.

[Setting – a generic office space]
Steve: “Dude. Did you get that email I sent you?”
You: “I don’t know. Lemme check. Oh yeah. What is this?”
“Just click on it.”
“What is it?”
“It’s an awesome video. Just click on it.”
[You click]
(In a whispered yet scolding tone) “What the fuck, Steve?”
[You close the window quickly]
“Awesome, right?”
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“I thought you’d like it.”
“I could get FIRED for looking at shit like this.”
“What? Nobody’s looking.”
“You know they log everything we look at, right?”
“What?”
“Yeah. They keep logs of every page we visit.”
“Really? … I gotta go.”
“Don’t send me shit like this again.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
[Steve exits scene]

(Original GIF from the Internet Elk’s Lodge that is Reddit.)

Intrigue! The August 27 contest between the Los Angeles Angels and the Tampa Bay Rays had Intrigue! Behold! Slow-motion medium-high fives!

Regular-motion C.J. Wilson turf eats!

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Put your 3D glasses on your face because Evan Longoria hit a homer directly through your television set on Saturday night:

Imagine: If you, lucky you, had been poised near yonder catwalk camera with, say, a ten-foot pole and net, mayhaps you could have snared a souvenir of your own — a home run souvenir.

For 30 years now, writer and public-broadcasting personality Rick Steves has published Europe Through the Back Door, a series of annual guidebooks designed for travelers interested in moving beyond Europe’s most obvious (and expensive) tourist activities and experiencing the continent more like a native might.

One senses from the animated GIFs below — of Jose Fernandez striking out batters to end the fourth, fifth, and sixth innings of his Saturday start, all on curveballs looking — that, were the young Cuban émigré to write a guidebook designed to acquaint readers more intimately with the proper use of a championship breaking ball, that he would likely advocate more of a front-door approach.

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In the absence of video evidence like that above, the reader might find some difficulty in articulating to another party the experience of young Oakland right-hander Sonny Gray’s excellent curveball, a pitch that appears to have been worth more than five runs above average so far per every hundred thrown.

What follows are seven similes that might at least begin to approximate the experience of same.

1. It’s like having an epiphany at Caldor’s.

2. It’s like a meadowlark that’s real aggressive in business.

3. It’s like Werner Herzog’s description of conquest, probably.

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