BREAKING NEWS: Johan Santana Takes Mound
I know that NotGraphs probably isn’t the right place for this, but BREAKING NEWS from Citi Field — Jonathan Niese is a last-minute scratch from his opening day start, and Johan Santana will be taking the mound after all. Buzz is that he sought a third opinion on his shoulder before undergoing surgery, and it turns out that there was a smudge on the previous x-ray that had gone unnoticed. His shoulder is actually in pristine condition, and the Mets rushed him to the clubhouse this morning. These are actual photos taken right now at Citi Field, as Johan takes his warmups.
Oh, wait, that last one — apparently Johan has just been traded back to the Twins. Like, just now. And he’s going to be taking Vance Worley’s place as their Opening Day starter, he just switched into the uniform in between warmup pitches and transported himself to Minnesota. Still waiting on word as far as why the Twins have decided to go with the gray road jerseys for the home opener. NotGraphs about to grab an exclusive with Chuck Knoblauch, who’s starting at second base this afternoon…. More to come.
#aprilfools
#noonefooled
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Mocking a guy who’s career is probably over is a real classy way to make an April Fool’s joke!
Dudes made a ton of money during his career. I doubt the end of his career is as tragic as you’re making it seem. So he can’t get paid millions to play a game anymore, in the context of life, big whoop.
“in the context of life, big whoop.”
think of the children, man. without johan, they will drop out of school, contract jaundice, and grow up in single parent homes. by throwing a ball, he impacts MANY