Breaking: Former Tigers Befriend Homeless Man

The NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigative Team has acquired, through means readily accessible to anyone with an Internet connection, this photo tweeted by former baseballer Dmitri Young, featuring he and also-former baseballer Maglio Ordonez attending the World’s Series. In the picture (which is, of course, embiggenable) the two former Detroit players are bookending what appears to be an unidentified vagrant they discovered on the way to Comerica Park. It is easy to tell this man is a transient for the following reasons;

1.That beard and haggard face are classic identifiers of a man of the rails.

2.He is wearing upwards of three layers on his torso, whilst also being indoors. This is very typical for street people, as they have no closets for storing their unneeded layers.

3.Who wears a Diamondbacks hat to a game between the Giants and Tigers? A vagabond who found said hat in an alley, that’s who.

Credit should be given to Young and Ordonez. They were lucky enough to score some sweet luxury box tickets, and, instead of inviting another former Tiger or a perhaps lady of the night, they gifted the game of baseball to a scary old man in a Canadian tuxedo.

My sources are unable to provide details as to how the evening ended, due mostly to the fact that my sources are either dead or camels. However, you are permitted to speculate as I pound the pavement, looking for the factual ending to this totally factual situation I have presented to you, fair NotGraphs readers.