Brandon Phillips’s Neck
This headline from the Dayton Daily News (“‘For Sale’ sign on [Brandon] Phillips’ neck”) made me think I was about to read a piece about Brandon Phillips and a very strange neck tattoo. As it turns out, it is merely an awkward headline about the Reds looking to trade Phillips and not a new addition to the bizarre and disturbing neck tattoo trend. (Is it a trend? Or have I only noticed neck tattoos recently? And why in the world would anyone ever want to get a tattoo on his neck? I mean, I don’t understand why anyone would want to get a tattoo anywhere, but on your NECK?)
This leads me to a neck tattoo quiz. Can you name the following players AND identify what the heck is pictured on their necks?
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
The first one is Jon Rauch. He appears to have a catenane tattooed between laurel leaves. I am sure this pays tribute to his first summer job at Morehead State University where he worked as an organic chemist. The laurel leaves, a symbol of victory, seem to show that his synthetic work was rather successful.