Big News out of Japan!

TOKYO — All of Japan is buzzing with news from the capital today. RHP Yasuhiro Ogawa, SS/3B Shingo Kawabata, and OF/Giant-Man-Bird Tsubakuro were all in attendance as the Yakult Swallows unveiled their new alternate jerseys.

“I definitely like to wear lighter colors,” Ogawa said. “I think the lighter colors are easier to wear in summer (day) games.”

Even though the Yakult Swallows lack any green colors in their normal uniforms, Kawabata felt the alternate uniforms will help them better match their surroundings: “The field is green. The fans (wearing free replica jerseys) will be green. I think more teams are looking for a chance to wear green.”

But not all the players were excited about the change. Fan-favorite and science-abomination Tsubakuro looked visibly displeased despite offering the party’s platitudes:

“The illuminated spit-crow dons these lime-green vestments with pride,” said Tsubakuro through a squawk translator. “I’m proud to be a part of this organization; I’m proud of the effort we can put forth in our vestments and in our competing in baseball contests. The twirling of pitches. The chopping of bats. The sliding of bodies. And pitches too.

“Would the illuminated spit-crow have designed these vestments of his own volition? As a swallow, I am confined to what my hollow frame can manage, so no, I would not have designed a green cloth vestment. I would have crafted a more solid garb from regurgitated mud or perhaps found twigs and twine and beard-hairs.”

Be sure to hang a flight to Japan and catch these unis in action on the following days:

July 12 vs Yokohama
July 21 vs Hiroshima
August 5 vs Hanshin
August 7 vs Hanshin
August 19 vs Yomiuri
September 2 vs Chunichi
September 7 vs Yomiuri

All Japanese-to-English translations courtesy of the NotGraphs Foreign News and Food Inquiry Team.