Over at the dad’s house, FanGraphs+ 2012 has been being touted as a “steal” or “deal”. The subscription includes over 1,100 player profiles written by the FanGraphs and RotoGraphs contributors, 11 in depth fantasy-themed articles — including the second annual Cistulli-Sarris faceoff, Mike Trout vs. Bryce Harper, and my new best friend “Ottoneu Strategies for Every Setting.” Oh, and it also includes 2-3 weekly articles written by FanGraphs staff for ESPN throughout this year, AND the FanGraphs+ archives from the last two years. Whew. That’s all for $4.99, which may lead you to believe that you would be hard pressed to find anything so awesome for such a small price tag. You’d be believing wrong. I present: Things Cheaper Than FanGraphs+:

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Faithful reader Tim Nicodemus has brought our attention to this story about a new Skip Schumaker baseball card featuring a whole lotta squirrel, and very little of Skip Schumaker.

Truth is, the Rally Squirrel card is only the beginning. Here at Notgraphs, we have already received the following sneak preview of the next few cards in this history-making series of “NOT THE FACE”

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I bought this book of National League logo cross-stitch patterns (featuring the Expos logo and the Astros’ dome logo!! So excited to embroider those on everything I own) in a fit of I-just-got-my-tax-return-back-ness the other night, but I have a lot of questions for this guy. Like,

1. Is there whiskey in that coke?
2. Did you make the Phillies hat, Dodgers polo, Mets’ ashtray (?), and Giants’ baseball-stuff-holder-for-the-wall, or did your wife make them all and give them to you? If the former, cool. Really. If the latter, how come she’s not in the picture, huh?
3. How did you come to be a fan of all of those teams?
4. Where did you get those jeans?
5. Can I have some popcorn?
6. How about that butterscotch, grandma?
7. Did you feel like you looked silly in that hat, and that’s why you’re not wearing it? I can relate to that. I always buy hats but I think I look dumb in them. Regardless, it’s a cool hat. It reminds me of my softball team when I was eight because we were the Phillies and our outfits were maroon.
8. What were you about to say?
9. Isn’t that actually a softball back there? Really, dude?
10. Where do you get your hair cut?

If anyone can track this guy down and ask him these questions for me, I will sew the logo of their favorite NL team onto anything they own.

It may have come to your attention by now that some women like baseball. This is a fact that, although still often expressed as an exclamation of surprise, has actually been true for the last 100+ years. Maybe you even have a woman that likes baseball in your life? Lucky you! MLB.com and I have some suggestions for you regarding this upcoming Valentine’s day. If your [girlfriend, wife, sister, sister-wife] doesn’t care for the greatest game on earth? Find one that does*.

* JK!!!!!! That’d be a pretty dumb reason to leave a nice girl and besides, sometimes it’s fun to have your own interests instead of shared ones — like my interest in Ryan Gosling.
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In the first of a series of posts on ye old minor league teams, I’d like to examine some of the players associated with The Houston Buffaloes of the Texas League. The Buffaloes were originally founded in 1888 — although they were called the the Babies, the Mud Cats, Red Stockings, and Magnolias, and the Wanderers before settling on the Buffaloes around 1903.

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With the news last week that Fausto Carmona is not actually Fausto Carmona, many have been wondering how widespread this fake identity phenomenon actually is among major league players. While it is generally assumed that such players hail from the Dominican Republic, my investigative reporting has uncovered a more surprising poser in the major league mix.

“Hunter Pence” of the Philadelphia Phillies was arrested yesterday outside the consulate my heart, for assuming a false identity. His real name is Rick Nielsen, he is 37 years older than he has claimed, and he is the lead guitarist and songwriter of Cheap Trick.

“hunter pence”

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I have one tattoo. It’s the tattoo equivalent of of one of those Best Friends Forever necklaces that thirteen year old girls buy at Claire’s at the mall: my best friend Mandy and I got them together and they both say “heart.” It’s on my wrist (get it? … I wear my heart on my sleeve) and I love it. It’s so cheesy and it makes me smile every time I look down at it and remember the insane personal pitcher drinking, jukebox memorizing, dive bar crying, talking shit about boys bender we were on together around the time we got them.

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Dan McShane won on Jeopardy four times in a row last week, where he was introduced as a professional “Baseball Game Logger,” which is 1. the coolest job ever, except for maybe “Personal Shopper” or “Rock Band,” 2. not actually his job any more, as he is currently employed by Everyday Health, 3. easily confused for baseball b-logger, which led to this story being forwarded to me by at least two people who wanted me to know that “people like me” could win Jeopardy. He accumulated $64,001 in winnings, which he plans to use for “world travel”. The weirdest thing I discovered while researching Dan McShane is that, thanks to his sweatered youthfulness, he has developed somewhat of a cult following with the teenage girls on tumblr. Examples:

dan mcshane is his name. please dominate this game show for several days so your face doesn’t have to leave my screen anytime soon.

On a completely thinspo unrelated note…
I think I’m in love with the jeopardy returning champ. Dan McShane. Also John Green’s new book was amazing. Okay, back to thinspo.
Now do some sit-ups everyone!

wow jeopardy is stepping it up. this man is gorgeous. dan mcshane needs to win a billion more times then marry me. ok thanks

We’re not all gonna go dateless.

Dan has a twitter account.

Measuring “baseballness” can be tough, and I know that I often wish for a handy yardstick for, say, which of the dresses in my closet is the most baseball. I haven’t figured that one out yet, but here’s a handy tool to help you identify precisely how baseball your favorite band is.

Suggestions for added bonuses or strikes are welcome in the comments and I will update the quiz as I see fit. Of course, please also share your very important results. Post additions will be noted in italics.

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I went to the unveiling of this mural here in Austin on Saturday, installed next door to the historic home of Willie Wells. Tim Kerr is a local artist who enjoys baseball, jazz, and skateboarding. I am a long time fan and I got a chance to meet him in a backyard full of hot dogs, mexican cokes, chickens, and towering over us all, this beautiful painting. The ‘signature’ on the mural reads “your name here,” which felt incredibly appropriate as I stood with my neighbors, honoring Wells’ legacy.

Wells played one season for the Austin Black Senators of the Texas Negro League before entering the big show, The Negro National League. He also played in Mexico, where he was nicknamed “El Diablo,” and eventually ended up in Canada where he was a player/manager for the Winnipeg Buffaloes. He often won batting titles and was elected to multiple all star games, as well as setting a Negro Leagues single season home run record in 1926 with 27 home runs in only 88 recorded games. He was also an excellent defensive shortstop – he was also known as the “Shakespeare of Shortstops.” He is credited with mentoring a young Jackie Robinson, and being among the pioneers of the batting helmet (his was a construction helmet he wore after suffering a concussion). He eventually returned to his childhood home in Austin, before passing away in 1989. He was elected posthumously to the Hall of Fame in 1997.