The results of the poll are in: Andy Tworischuk hates fun.
You mess with NotGraphs, you mess with Joe West. At least that’s what Joe West told the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team.
I didn’t want to Andy, but Joe West insisted.
This is, of course, all in good fun. Pun intended. Let us in, Andy. As Roy Halladay once famously said: “It’s only gonna get funner.“
If you thought the amazing Joe West Montage meant the end of the Adventures of Joe West, you were sorely mistaken.
The Soviet Union wasn’t there, on the moon, on June 20th, 1969. It was a race; beating them there was kind of the point. But their physical absence hardly mattered to umpire West, who promptly sent the Soviet space program to the showers.
The uber-talented Bradley Woodrum, of DRaysBay fame, released his much-anticipated BABIP video this morning. Yes, indeed, it is another great day to be alive.
Long live the Luck Dragons. And Mr. Woodrum, too.
H/T: DRaysBay. Duh.
As you’ve surely heard by now, according to Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is winning. At drugs, at life, at everything. And that fact is not lost on today’s baseball players. At least not the Kansas City Royals, according to Hardball Talk’s Craig Calcaterra:
Mucho talk in the Royals clubhouse about Charlie Sheen. Guys daring each other to answer every media question with “winning.”
Ironic, considering the Royals know next to nothing about winning. Heyo! And, yes, I will be here all week. Tuesdays and Fridays, usually, but sometimes I pop in unscheduled.
Sports Illustrated’s trusty Vault also got in on the fun, tweeting a Scorecard article from April 1996, when Sheen was spending $6,537.50 on extracurricular activities other than cocaine:
Ryan Shopshire was drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays in the 32nd round of the 2009 MLB Amateur Draft. Six feet five inches tall, and weighing 200 pounds, it’s Shopshire’s dream to one day pitch in the big leagues. For the coming season, Shopshire’s teamed up exclusively with brand-spanking new baseball blog Through The Fence Baseball, and will be blogging about his experiences in the minor leagues in a series entitled Talking Shop.
Witness:
First I want to tell everybody a little about my baseball background. I am a so-cal boy born and raised in the most beautiful place in the states, Orange County California. I played my high school years at Orange Lutheran High School, a premier power house. After high school I accepted a scholarship at Long Beach State to play for the Dirtbags. My freshmen year there I experienced my first injury playing baseball (a stress fracture in my throwing elbow) and made me miss my entire season. At the end of the season exit meetings the coaches decided that Long Beach would not be my home the following season. This was a big blow to me because this was my first choice school out of high school.
My path was altered but I believe it made me stronger and more knowledgeable. My next two years I played at Orange Coast Community College in beautiful Newport Beach, California. At Coast I played at one of the most prestige community college baseball leagues in California and the nation. We made the playoffs both years there and it is always fun playing for a winning program. After my time at Coast I accepted a scholarship to play at San Jose State University. I did not know much about the program before I was contacted by the University but, I was informed that it was a winning program. I played there for two years and my team had a combined record of 72-45.
A few days ago, Michael Young met his biggest fan: Three-year-old Gavin Justice-Farmer. You may remember the youthful Justice-Farmer from such homemade videos as “Breaking the Michael Young news to a three-year-old….”
Baseball’s — actually, sports’ — best fans are its youngest. They’re innocent; pure. They don’t yet know how to look up Michael Young’s very average 2010 numbers; his .335 wOBA and 104 wRC+. Hell, if Michael Young isn’t in his Texas Rangers uniform, the Gavine Justice-Farmers of the world don’t recognize him at all.
“What 3-year-old gets to meet their baseball idol and hero?” Kim Justice said. “Michael walked in and Gavin expected him to be in his uniform. He asked him, ‘Are you Michael Young?’ He looked at me and asked the same question.”
In all seriousness, much respect to Young and his wife Cristina for arranging the meet-and-greet. I’m sure it was a thrill for little Gavin, a day he’ll never forget. While he certainly could use some more time poking around on FanGraphs, Gavin’s a smart one, as evidenced by the following:
“[Gavin] asks me about Michael every day,” Justice said. “He asks, ‘Is he still with the Rangers? He’s not going to the Yankees, is he?’ …”
Three-years-old and Gavin already knows the New York Yankees are the enemy. Kid’s got a bright future.
Image via It’s a long season. I say the season isn’t long enough.
In my mind, there exists a Baseball Bloggers Hall of Fame. Because the good Lord above knows we’re not getting into Cooperstown. Nobody knows exactly where it — the Baseball Bloggers Hall Of Fame — is located. It could be anywhere; that’s the anonymous beauty of it.
The magical Baseball Bloggers Hall of Fame is, of course, a basement, and only a basement. A team of elderly mothers and grandmothers operate the joint. They lead you downstairs, and serve you free orange and apple juice. Sometimes, when they’re extra surly, they leave the refreshments at the top of the stairs. Visiting is an authentic experience.
Keyboards hang from the ceiling. In some cases, entire workstations have been preserved. It’s the goal of the Baseball Bloggers Hall of Fame to showcase, for the entire world to see, the baseball blogger’s natural habitat.
A committee of nine — David Appelman, Dave Cameron, Carson Cistulli, Joe Posnanski, Kevin Kaduk, Joe Posnanski, Rob Neyer, Craig Calcaterra, and Keith Law — are judge and jury. They hold the keys to the Baseball Bloggers Hall of Fame, and decide the fate of the millions upon millions of baseball blogs that exist today.
Up for induction in 2011: The Fightins. May the blog rest in peace.
Major League Baseball wants you. No, really, they do:
Major League Baseball is casting for an innovative new experience, which will require one lucky fan to eat, sleep, and live baseball for an entire season. If you’re a baseball fanatic and have an engaging, fun personality, this is the dream job for you.
Your new full-time job will be to literally follow baseball non-stop, as you will be charged with watching every single game of the 2011 season, blogging about all your thoughts and opinions, and discussing the hottest topics in baseball.
Let’s be honest: It does sound pretty goddamn dreamy. By my math, which is not very good, “every single game of the 2011 season” means 2,430 games. Plus the playoffs. Dreamy, indeed. There’s no such thing as too much baseball.
A couple of necessary qualifications for the “job” of note:
Must be a baseball expert.
Check. A huge check mark.
Must be comfortable in front of the camera and be able to present a positive public image.
This is going to rule out alot of nerds.
Must complete a background check to the satisfaction of MLB.
This is going to rule out alot of baseball nerds with criminal records.
In a nutshell: Watch an obscene amount of baseball, blog about it, tweet about it, put on a ton of weight, and get paid. Apart from actually playing the game for a living, it likely doesn’t get much better than that. At least for one year of your life.
One caveat:
Must reside in a location picked by MLB in New York City for the entire baseball season.
I almost want them to pick a basement apartment. A really nice one.
Godspeed, yo.
I’m not quite sure who deserves credit for that image. I found it on Reddit, where I scour the depths of the internet for anything and everything related to baseball. That’s love.
This evening, I’m extremely pleased and proud to announce that, after an exhausting and extensive appeal, the NotGraphs Highly Reputable And Totally Real Think Tank has approved, for these very electronic pages, the canonization of active baseball players. It’s a great day to be alive. (Pun intended.)
Now, don’t for a split second think that I can do one of these as well as world-renowned poet – and baseball scholar – Carson Cistulli. But I’ll give it my best shot.
Today, this 18th day of February, 2011 years after the passing of Jesus Christ, the second soul we canonize — and first active — is celebrating his 30th year on the planet.
Life: Born in Coffee, Alabama, and hailing from the island of Puerto Rico, Alex Rios tickled Toronto Blue Jays fans for five and a half years with his potential, accumulating 17.7 WAR from 2004 to August 2009. Until the fateful day he was given –- nay, stolen –- by the Chicago White Sox. Sometimes the best laid plans go awry.
Prayer:
Image courtesy the Alex Rios Fanclub.
