Much like ESPN’s Buster Olney, I love anecdotes. Especially  baseball anecdotes. And most especially  if said baseball anecdotes are about, or have anything at all to do with, Joe West. The above, that’s a pretty good Joe West baseball anecdote.

I can’t help but wonder what Joe West was thinking, his tunes playing over Fenway Park’s speakers. I wonder if the fans were frightened. Massholes, help a brother out: Were you there? Do you remember this incredible occasion?

I also can’t help but wonder if John Smoltz had to do everything in his power to keep a straight face during his warm-up. And, most of all, I wonder if the tribute helped Smoltz’s strike zone.

Smoltz took the loss that fateful night, July 26, 2009. To Baltimore, no less. He allowed six runs in five innings, and gave up nine hits. He struck out six, and walked one. But it hardly mattered. Thanks to his warm-up, Smoltz had already won.

I live-blogged Wednesday night’s thrashing of the Chicago White Sox by the New York Yankees for Canadian sports broadcasting titan The Score. It was good times: I discovered, and documented, Eric Chavez’s Comeback ‘Stache, and was reminded what an absolute bloody nightmare it is to watch Alex Rios play baseball.

In the third inning, the White Sox already down 10-1, Mark Teixeira sent a line-drive into center field. Rios, in oblivious, Rios-like, head case fashion, charged the ball. It went right by him, of course. (This is after Rios misplayed a Curtis Granderson fly ball in the first inning, too, letting it drop in front of him.) The photograph above is of Rios racing  all the way to the wall to retrieve the baseball he so badly misplayed. Not in a dead sprint, with his head down, oh no, but leisurely, Rios even looking back to see if Teixeira was trying to gallop all the way home for an inside the park job.

Teixeira didn’t, and ended up at third base. Somehow, Rios wasn’t charged with an error on the play. The box score’s play-by-play reads:

M. Teixeira tripled to shallow center, B. Gardner and D. Jeter scored.

Yeah, no. That was an error if I’d ever seen one. Even in a 10-1 game. Nobody “triples” to shallow center field. Frankly, I was surprised that Ozzie Guillen didn’t a) immediately pull Rios from the game, and b) drag Rios by the ear from center field to first base, and beat him with Adam Dunn. Ozzie needed a drink last night. In the worst way. Poor Ozzie.

Things Alex Rios is Thinking

Anyway: Rios. One of the South Side’s favorite suns. Our intrepid NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed, through telepathy I assume, the thoughts that were racing through Rios’ head, a lot faster than he was physically racing, as he “ran” down Teixeira’s “triple.”

1. Do I have to? I have to, don’t I?

2. Who gives a fuck?! (Editor’s note: He was actually singing  this.)

3. At least I’m hitting .200.

4. On the other hand, if Teixeira hits an inside the park home run, I’ll probably make the highlights.

5. They think Dunn hates baseball.

If you’re looking for more Rios bashing, the Chicago Tribune’s Steve Rosenbloom has you covered, with his aptly titled piece, “Bring me the head of Alex Rios.”

Image credit: Reuters, via daylife.

Yes, I’m positive that’s not Don Mattingly. And, no, I couldn’t find a better picture of Eric Chavez’s new mustache.

But it’s there. Look closely, and you can see it. And it’s not just any mustache, either. It’s what I like to call a Comeback ‘Stache.

The mustachioed Chavez hit his first home run as a member of the New York Yankees Wednesday night; his first home run since May 11, 2010. He finished 3-for-6, and drove four runs across home plate. It was his most productive game in years. Literally: years. Coincidence? Probably not.

Image credit: The Associated Press, via Yahoo! Sports.

In real-time, on Twitter. Fun, wasn’t it?

Before I get going, I know what you want me to address, and I agree: FanGraphs’ analysis of all the deadline’s happenings was top notch. I’ll be honest: I’m no longer surprised by the quality of the staff’s work. I’ve met those guys, I know what they’re about. (They’re about baseball.) Together, they are a baseball-writing machine. A factory, even. And it’s all free. All the time. For you, and for me. Life is good.

But the deadline. Let’s talk about the deadline. Ubaldo Jimenez, Carlos Beltran, Orlando Cabrera, Derrek Lee, Michael Bourn, Edwin Jackson, Kosuke Fukudome, Erik Bedard, Koji Uehara, Hunter Pence, and Colby Rasmus, just to name a few, all have new summer homes. Action!

From a Twitterer’s perspective, it was fantastic to watch. Analsyis from the heavy hitters who use Twitter and use it well — the Olneys, Morosis, Laws, etc. — followed by instant fan reaction.

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that isn’t Yunel Escobar’s thigh in the image above. No way.

As much as I want to say that the cat who had that done, who actually paid for someone to tattoo Bobby Cox’s face on his thigh, now and forever more, is certifiably insane, I can’t. Because the team I root for has never won 14 straight division titles under one manager. I’m going to go ahead and assume that if and when that does happen for my  team, all bets are off.

Does that mean I might end up with John Farrell’s Presidential mug tattooed on my arm? Maybe. Like I said, I can’t in good faith rule out the possibility of it happening. I have to admit, though, that right now, I’m leaning more towards an Alex Anthopoulos tattoo. Yeah, definitely an Anthopoulos tattoo.

But you, dear Braves fans, you tell me: From 1991 through 2005, Atlanta racked up divisional titles. Other than Bobby Cox, because, well, it’s been done, which player’s face are you tattooing on your thigh: Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, Chipper Jones, or Tom Glavine?

Image courtesy of The Associated Press, via Sports Illustrated. And a tip of the cap to Scott Carefoot, one of The Score’s many basketball gurus, whose Twitter account led me to the photo.

In the great game of baseball, when a pitcher and his catcher are in sync, that’s when the magic happens. And by “the magic,” I mean, in this case, a 3-0 Toronto whitewash of the Baltimore Orioles. Ricky Romero and J.P. Arencibia, they’re in sync. I mean, as evidenced above, really  in sync.

At first glance, it looks like the umpire is about to get in on the bunny hopping action, too. But, alas, he doesn’t, thus rendering this hot GIF very slightly less awesome than it is.

May Ricky and J.P. hop together forever.

Addendum: While the umpire didn’t get in on the action, Jose Bautista did, at third base, leaping to successfully grab a line drive off the bat of Baltimore’s Blake Davis on this very play. Obviously, Romero and Arencibia willed Joey Bats to the ball.

Bunny hops in the direction of @james_in_to. His animated GIFs make the world a better place, and you can find them, mostly Blue Jays related, at blue jays bits.

You know what I love? The New York Times. On Saturday, the resilient newspaper published a piece by Bill Pennington called “Kei Igawa: The Lost Yankee,” and it is a perfect example of what I consider to be brilliant baseball writing; the type of baseball writing I enjoy reading most. I urge you to take the time to read the piece; it’s well worth it.

Much like, well, everyone, I’d forgotten all about Kei Igawa. I had no idea he was still in North America, grinding in the minors while making Major League money. I figured he went back to Japan. Years ago. But he didn’t. Hasn’t. Won’t.

As Pennington points out, Igawa wakes every morning in his Midtown East Manhattan apartment, and is then chauffeured either the 90-minute drive to Trenton, New Jersey, or two hours and ten minutes to Scranton, Pennsylvania. And back. Currently on the roster of the Trenton Thunder, Igawa figured his stay in the minors would be temporary when he was sent down, hence the ride. Turns out, it was the opposite: Igawa will never again pitch for the New York Yankees. General Manager Brian Cashman, quoted in the article, didn’t hold back: “Yeah, he’s passed me on the drive down to Trenton. He drives faster than his fastball.” Burn.

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Video essays are the best  kind of essays. And the excellent one you’ll find below is by Sportsnet’s Stephen Brunt, in my opinion the finest sports journalist the great nation of Canada can lay claim to. Enjoy.

It doesn’t happen often: A player for the ages turning up on your favorite team. In a perfect world, Roberto Alomar would have stayed a Blue Jay longer. In a perfect world, there would have been more championships to go with that magical pair. But what a great thing to have had him here, at his best. And now, to have him bring the Blue Jays to Cooperstown.

Brunt’s more than a journalist; he’s a poet. That, my friends, is how you wrap up a video essay, with those words, and Roberto Alomar’s Hall of Fame smile.

Little to nothing is going right for the Seattle Mariners this year. Save for the mustaches of Eric Wedge and now Brendan Ryan, and, well, all their stellar pitching, Seattle’s 2011 season is a lost one.

Amid all that losing, though, Ryan has found reason to smile. He does, after all, lead the Mariners in WAR. And if you’re wondering what Ryan’s mustache has to do with his team-leading 2.1 WAR, the answer is obvious: everything.

Image credit: Reuters, via daylife.

If this is how it goes down on the team bus, well, I was wrong. Very wrong:

Big ups: My childhood friend @25th_Hour. He’s good people.