Finally! Sweeping change around the Baltimore Orioles!

No, Peter Angelos hasn’t somehow disappeared, to ride out into the sunset as somebody capable or caring takes over the team. Sorry to get your hopes up, Orioles fans. What has happened, however, is a sweeping change in the team’s uniforms: the cartoon bird is back.

Personally, the hat with the realistic oriole that the team has been using since 1989 is one of my favorite caps in the big leagues. But, I know many people, particularly Orioles fans, love this look, one that hearkens back to the days of Brooks Robinson and some other people that probably played for the Orioles or something. And I certainly can’t complain — it’s a good look. Here are a few things I would note:

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Behold, perhaps the most important Google Map of our times:

Point A is the Hilton Anatole hotel in Dallas, Texas, which I’m told will be the location of the 2011 MLB Winter Meetings. And, should you care to click and embiggen, the annotated window shows the presence of that bastion of American culinary mastery: Medieval Times Dinner And Tournament.

Consider, for just a second, the possibilities here. Imagine, a joust between Ed Wade and Ruben Amaro over which prospect is included in their next inevitable deal. Imagine, Billy Beane hustling an entire restaurant with his revolutionary way of building a joust team. Imagine, Mike Rizzo stuffing his face with a giant mutton chop and spilling the majority of a stein of mead all over his lap.

Endless possibilities, as you can plainly see:

http://youtu.be/4Fc6ZbEwo5s

And this only scratches the surface. Be sure, we here at NotGraphs plan on detailing a variety of scenarios we can envision between the executives of the game we love and the greatness of Medieval Times. You just can’t get this coverage anywhere else, you guys.

A couple of months ago, our own Dayn Perry made a well-reasoned, excellently-worded argument as to why God Bless America should not be played during the seventh inning of every single baseball game ever, as has been the case for a decade now.

I agree with Mr. Perry, but I wouldn’t simply cut GBA and simply play “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” all by its lonesome. No, we still need a reminder of what country we are in when we are thirteen-eighteenths through a baseball game. As such, I suggest the following song, a much clearer and simpler reminder of yes, this is in fact America.

Enjoy.

Breaking news from WPVI-TV Philadelphia’s Jeff Skversky:

As much as this just sounds like Lenny Dykstra is canceling his autograph session to have a street fight with Jose Canseco (which I imagine would go something like this), this fight is going to be something far more civilized: boxing.

Canseco has already begun a career in MMA, but it hasn’t gone well. Dykstra doesn’t have a boxing or MMA career that I can find, but he is “fighting for his good name:”

Lenny is fighting for his good name in baseball. Lenny’s life for the last two years has been upside down mainly because of snitches. Canseco is one of the many rats that have diminished Dykstra’s career.

Because, you know, that’ll help.

As far as the actual fight goes, I’ll take the 6’4″, 240 pound Canseco over the 5’10”, 167 pound Dykstra.

Although, to present a counterargument: Nails. Can’t bet against Nails.

I believe we may have a meme on our hands.

First, Tony La Russa called a dog, who was very quick to note that he is, indeed, a dog.

Yo, dog. Thanks, dog.

Then, Tony La Russa was apparently having problems with his credit card company, and the customer service wasn’t very helpful (hat tip: Kyle Kaestner on Twitter):

Peggy doesn’t tend to be very helpful, whether it’s customer service or getting the right reliever warming.

Neither Peggy nor the dog helped get Jason Motte warming, but given the persistence of Tony La Russa, one can’t imagine he gave up there. So I leave it to you, NotGraphs readers. Who else did Tony La Russa call?

In the course of research for my “World Series Games According To Video Games” series, which died thanks to the existence of something called “the weekend,” I discovered this image:

That is the logo for the “Mario Sunshines,” the team captained by Mario which you face in the one-player story mode of Mario Superstar Baseball for the Nintendo Gamecube, released in 2005. Compare and contrast:

Obviously, the person who designed the new Marlins’ logo either never played Mario Superstar Baseball or played the crap out of it. Either way, when viewed through this light, I have to say, I’m much more supportive of the Marlins’ new choice of logos. Go Fighting Super Marios!

2020 Super Baseball is a very weird game.

Basically, take Baseball Stars (it has the same teams, like the Ninja Black Sox, and the same mechanics), add in some wacky rules (only a tiny portion of the field is foul territory and it’s only a home run if it goes in the “Home Run Area” in center field), and fast forward to a society in the far off year of 2020, and there you have Super Baseball 2020.

I decided to play as the “Battle Heroes,” because, why not, and the computer randomly picked the “Aussie Battlers”. Since the Heroes wear red and the Battlers wear blue (and, Australia is basically the Texas of continents), I guess I’m playing as the Cardinals this time. As much as that hurts me deep inside.

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In celebration of both the World Series and video games, I will be playing at least four and, if, necessary, five, six, or seven games of the World Series on various excellent Major League Baseball video games. We’ll start it out with an old standby: Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball for the Super Nintendo.

Remember kids, illegal emulation is wrong, except when it feels oh, so right.

Now, to the game:

As Player One, I decided to choose the lesser of two evils and pick the Texas Rangers. This means I, as the Rangers, am the home team. That’s not how the real World Series will go. Deal with it

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If you’re a fan of Brad Neely, internet songwriter/cartoonist, you’re probably familiar with the video “George Washington.” If you’re not, it’s a video about George Washington, Washington, six-foot-eight, weighs a fucking ton. There’s more, of course, but you’ll just have to watch the video

The Texas Rangers have a manager whose last name is also Washington. And now Ron Washington also has a similarly styled song and cartoon accompaniment in his… well, I would call it honor, but it’s actually not respectful in the slightest. But I laughed really hard at it. So there’s that.

(Doff of the cocaine-stache to Luke Zimmerman on Twitter)

In case you haven’t heard about it, there’s been quite a bit of hubbub over chicken in Boston lately. Also, video games and beer. How anybody could think about blaming anything on these triumphs of humanity is beyond me, but what Dan Schaughnessy wants, he gets.

Meanwhile, one football writer in the area, Greg Bedard of the Boston Globe, really grabbed this one and ran with it:

I get jokes!

Unfortunately for others in the Boston football media, like Ian Rapoport of the Boston Herald, such jokes often attract some very dense questions.

Maybe he was just hungry. Or maybe Hernandez is simply becoming the next vessel of a chicken-demon haunting Boston sports since October. I simply don’t think any reporter worth his salt can dismiss such a quality.

Or maybe he was just hungry.