What follows is a table containing all 26 major-league teams from 1991 and their corresponding broadcast networks — both the over-the-air (OTA) and cable varieties.

Why anyone would compile such a list* is likely a bit mysterious to the reader. In point of fact, it’s mysterious to the author, as well.

*Via the individual 1991 team pages at Wikipedia, it should be mentioned.

The reason I began compiling it — this past Sunday, on my couch, sweating in ways that shouldn’t be swat in — is because I had some intention of finding visual artifacts like the one at the top of this post. What such videos lack in aesthetic virtue, they make up for by reminding us that sideburns of any description were, at one point, illegal in this country.

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Last June, NotGraphs released exclusive footage of the Phillie Phanatic having his way with a young human woman at Philadelphia’s Citizens Bank Park.

Indications are that the incident in question was not, as previously suspected, an isolated one. Today, in fact, NotGraphs has uncovered video believed to be from 1986 that, while grainy, clearly depicts the Phanatic abducting a Philadelphia-area woman, from her home, via the television.

A call to the Philadelphia Phillies was not returned. More on this story as it develops.

Last night, during the seventh inning of the Phillies-Cardinals game in St. Louis, a gentleman emerged, sans pants, from the Busch Stadium stands and into the hearts of Americans everywhere. (And, immediately after that, into the arms of Busch Stadium security.)

For those readers unable to witness the event firsthand, luckily Twitter is a thing that exists. Let’s relive the excitement!

First, from Jim Salisbury of CSN Philadelphia, we get this Action News Alert:

Streaker is resisting arrest

— Jim Salisbury (@JSalisburyCSN) May 25, 2012

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Jesse Thorn’s podcast Sounds of Young America has been invoked in these electronic pages before for an entirely capable interview Thorn did with Bill James — and Thorn himself was a guest on FanGraphs Audio in that podcast’s early-ish days.

On the most recent edition of his newest audio venture, Bullseye, Thorn interviews Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey — presumably about the knuckleball and Dickey’s recent memoir, Wherever I Wind Up. I say “presumably,” however, because I haven’t listened to it yet. Because I’m on my way to the gym. So sue me.

Click here to go to the relevant episode. The segment with Dickey begins at about the 7:30 mark.

NEW YORK — Several riders of a Queens-bound 7 train confirmed Thursday the presence of a passenger not only wearing a John Franco jersey, but also matching the precise physical description of the longtime Mets closer.

“Was it him? Tough to say,” said Gordon Stavridis, 34, who rode the train all the way to Flushing-Main St. “Sure: mustache, vaguely Mediterranean features. But, honestly, that describes basically every white person in the New York area.”

Added Brooklyn native Maria Tasso, 37: “It could’ve been him, although I personally went to high school with 17 different John Francos. And that was just in my graduating class.”

Witnesses confirmed that the Franco look-alike got off at the Mets-Willets Point stop along with a slightly overweight black man of medium height in a Lenny Harris jersey.

You make the call!

It is, I believe, uncontroversial to suggest that the object for a base-and-ball pitcher is to prevent runs. It is slightly more — but still not very — controversial to suggest that, per DIPS theory, the best way for a pitcher to prevent runs is to record strikeouts while avoiding walks and home runs.

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On Monday night, with regular television play-by-play broadcaster Dave Barnett having fallen ill, radio broadcaster Steve Busby joined usual colorman Tom Grieve in the Fox Sports Southwest booth. That left universally beloved Texas Rangers broadcaster Eric Nadel by himself on KESN radio.

Nadel called the first and second innings on his own and then was joined by Rangers GM Jon Daniels for the third through fifth innings.

Daniels, demonstrating the sort of wide-ranging curiosity that has allowed him to construct a perennial World Series contender, took the opportunity to ask Nadel the toughest of tough questions — namely, how the latter planned to evacuate his bladder if and when the situation called for it.

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On Sunday afternoon, Sun Sports featured a special “sabermetric broadcast” — featuring actual Tampa Bay outfielder and nerd’s nerd Sam Fuld — for the Rays’ interleague game against Atlanta.

Below are five screenshots from same. (Please click, with a view to embiggening.)

1. Here are David Price’s stats, including FIP and BABIP:

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In the following clip (from the WTMJ broadcast of Saturday’s Brewers-Twins game), America learns that Bob Uecker loves three things — and only three things — as follow:

1. A Beautiful Spring Day

2. Betterment of Home and Garden

3. Swift Justice

Regard:

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