The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The entire contents of the author’s refrigerator.

When my father wanted to drink irresponsibly as a young man in New England, he did so with Narragansett Beer. Unfortunately, living in Wisconsin, I’ve been forced — until now, at least — I’ve been forced to break from family tradition and drink other brands of beer irresponsibly.

Recently, however, Narragansett announced their intentions to fulfill the brewery’s manifest destiny — i.e. to overspread and to possess the whole of the continent which Providence has given them, etc., etc.

And, fortunate for those who (a) operate baseball-related blogs and (b) are unafraid to employ the flimsiest of pretenses, it appears as though Narragansett has released — and the author has purchased today a six pack of — something called Grand Slam Baseball Cans, the distinguishing characteristic of which is that it (i.e. the aforementioned can) features a design with a baseball and playing field and also some cheerful comments on the nature of the game itself.

Here’s a completely authentic and totally unadulterated message from noted linguist and spokesman of the American Left Noam Chomsky’s Twitter account to avant-garde sportsman Max Scherzer from this morning, apropos a central idea from the former’s work on generative grammar (click to embiggen):

Here’s a completely authentic and totally unadulterated message from avant-garde sportsman Max Scherzer’s Twitter account this morning (click to embiggen):

The reader will likely know that Kevin Youkilis was recently placed on — and has, even more recently, returned from — paternity leave by the Chicago White Sox. What our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has learned in the meantime, however, is that Youkilis’ absence was not designed to facilitate his presence at the birth of his first human child. Rather, it allowed him time to sire, bear, and deliver the mustache (pictured above) favored by constables of all seven continents and probably space, too.

Apropos of nothing, except the brief abeyance of life’s crushing burdens, here are three lightly annotated passages from the recap of a Baltimore-Brooklyn game that appeared (the recap, not the game) in the September 17th, 1887, edition of the New York Evening Sun (a full page of which one can read here) — upon which recap the author happened while abeying the crushing burdens of his own life, for example.

Excerpt No. 1

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During a recent conversation with the very baritone Drew Fairservice on his podcast that is the sort of podcast that would have someone like me as a guest, Fairservice invoked the term post-fandom. Readers who are unacquainted with the term, as I was, will nevertheless have little problem unpacking it: the post is the same one that appears in — and greatly problematizes — terms like post-modernism, post-punk, and post-structuralism.

If pressed to supply a concise definition of post-fandom, I would refuse — not only because mine would be inadequate, but also because the people who demand such things do so less in the spirit of real inquiry and more as a sort of shitty, ad hoc quiz.

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Because the author, alienated from his humanity by the forces of Capitalism, has no other means by which to establish contact with others than to capture and reproduce video on this absurd corner of the internet, is maybe one reason why he’s made an animated GIF tonight of Yu Darvish throwing an equally absurd first-pitch slider (for a strike) to Matt Joyce from this evening’s Rangers-Rays game.

Another reason is maybe because, having witnessed that same absurd first-pitch slider from Yu Darvish to Matt Joyce from the aforementioned Rangers-Rays game that’s happening tonight, the author felt compelled to share that moment with others, for the purposes of their communal fucking wonderment.

Spotted by the author — and probably other people — during the fourth inning of tonight’s Tigers-Angels game, it’s the shadowy spectre of America’s One, True Power Agent™: