About an hour ago, the present author published a post in these absurd electronic pages in which he attempted to assess objectively the relative merits of all 30 major-league ballparks by location using the population density of each park’s attendant zip code.

About 59 minutes ago, concerned reader The Wrong Alex (and also other concerned reader Bryan) suggested that perhaps using Walk Scores (from walkscore.com) might be the most effective proxy for what the author is attempting to represent. A Walk Score, according to the relevant site, “is a number between 0 and 100 that measures the walkability of any address.”

And here’s a more detailed explanation of the significance of different scores:

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See the updated version of these ratings using Walk Score here.

Last night, the author attended with his wife/PCA an independent Frontier League game between the Schaumburg Boomers and Traverse City Beach Bums at the latter’s home park in Traverse City, Michigan. While so doing, that same author and that same wife stumbled into a discussion of what ballparks — major-league or otherwise — might be said to have the most appealing locations. Wrigley Field, for example, is excellent in this regard: it’s situated in a lively urban neighborhood, surrounded by bars and restaurants*, and is accessible by public transit — more easily than by car, in fact. From the author’s experience, much the same can be said for Fenway Park in Boston and San Francisco’s AT&T Park. Angels Stadium, on the other hand — as with any park surrounded entirely by parking lot — offers little in terms of this sort of ambiance.

*Although, it should be noted, not necessarily bars a reasonable person would find him- or herself patronizing.

It occurred to the author that there might be a means by which to assess objectively the relative merits of a ballpark’s location. The table below — of all 30 major-league ballparks sorted by the population density of their relevant zip codes — represents an entirely preliminary and very crude attempt at doing that. The author’s reasoning is thus: areas with many bars, other sorts of businesses, etc., tend also to be densely populated; areas that are surrounded by parking lots and accessible almost exclusively by car will tend to be less densely populated.

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Twins minor leaguer Jordan Parraz hasn’t been a Twins minor leaguer for very long. Until the beginning of May he was a Braves minor leaguer. In 2011, he was a Yankees minor leaguer. Before that he was also, at different points, both a Royals and also an Astros minor leaguer. In sum, Jordan Parraz — originally a third-round pick out of high school by Houston in 2004 — has amassed over 3,500 minor-league plate appearances and precisely zero major-league ones. In addition to some things, Jordan Parraz has likely seen some persons and places, as well. Jordan Parraz is well acquainted with nouns, is the point.

Perhaps related or not, is the footage below of Jordan Parraz from Wednesday’s Double-A Eastern League game between Twins affiliate New Britain and Pirates affiliate Altoona. Ought what Parraz is doing here be referred to as a bat flip proper? Perhaps not. To suggest, however, that bat antics are afoot is an exercise in obvious suggestions.

Like this first one, from the fifth inning, after earning a walk from Altoona pitcher Nathan Baker:

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For reference.

The present author has noted previously in these pages both that (a) he’s married to a real human woman with nearly all of her limbs/senses and also that (b) the woman in question has a number of Special Skills, one of which is goddamn art photography.

Below are some recent baseball-related efforts by that same wife, a result of trips to Class-A Kane County in Geneva, IL, and also to a Madison Mallards game of the collegiate wood-bat Northwoods League.

All images are both (a) embiggenable via clicking and (b) stolen directly from the aforementioned wife’s lightly maintained website.

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Both uncles and also people who just look like uncles are frequently overheard uttering with some pleasure that, in this life, only two things are certain: death and taxes.

Of course, this is not entirely the case. One can be certain, for example, that my colleague Dayn Perry has hepatitis. One can also be certain, for example, that Perry has another kind of hepatitis, too — different than the first kind you were originally thinking about.

Concerned reader Phillip Lancaster notes another point to which we might ascribe some considerable degree of certainty — namely, that predominantly bare-chested Boston first baseman Mike Napoli is Italian. We know, in part, because he was abandoned shortly after his birth, along with his twin brother; suckled as an infant by a she-wolf; and raised by a shepherd and his wife. We know, in other part, because of the image provided by Lancaster and embedded here for the Enjoyment of the Readership.

For years, Luis Valbuena’s minor-league resume seemed to suggest that he could develop into an entirely serviceable major-league infielder. For almost as many years, that didn’t happen.

As a Cub, however, Valbuena has now produced three wins in only slightly more than 500 plate appearances. What else he’s produced is the substance for the footage embedded above — namely, the rare bat flip off an RBI single, in this case against Houston right-hander Bud Norris in the third inning of the Astros’ and Cubs’ Saturday game (box).

It may not be fair to refer to Voice of the Cardinals Mike Shannon as a “friend of the site” merely because he appeared one time on one single episode of FanGraphs Audio. The author will definitely continue referring to Shannon as such (i.e. “a friend of the site”); it just might not be fair when he does it, is the point.

That convoluted point having nearly been made, allow the author to state the purpose of this post — namely, to announce that friend of the site Mike Shannon was working at the very top of his abilities during the ninth inning of tonight’s (Friday’s) Rangers-Cardinals game — a game which turned out to be a loss for the home team, but a win for anyone who found him- or herself listening to KMOX NewsRadio 1120 at approximately 10pm CT.

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@notgraphs Dear Notgraphs, please regard proof of my status as an Ubermensch http://t.co/UjzfCCgTXX

— Derpson (@CanuckAssassin) June 21, 2013

Besides total patience and constant praise, NotGraphs asks almost nothing — and also cash donations wired to anonymous offshore bank accounts — NotGraphs asks almost nothing of its readership. The purpose of this post, however, is to ask something of the readership — namely, to follow the hyperlink within the tweet embedded above and regard how this one guy was acknowledged via social media by championship broadcaster Vin Scully for a moment.

There are six affiliated minor-league clubs with the word “cat” in the team name. Some of those clubs are named after real types of cat; others, less so. What follows, for the benefit of (a) the readership and also (b) the abstract concept of Truth, is the authoritative list on teams named after cats, real or fictional.

Club: Carolina Mudcats (Zebulon, NC)
Level: High-A League: Carolina
Affiliation: Cleveland Indians
Real Thing? Yes. Common name for catfish native to the Mississippi Delta.

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