Scientists, were one of them asked, would almost certainly conclude that human beings were strangely incapable — despite thousands of years of time to practice — of drawing tigers until 1961.

The proof to which those same scientists would very likely point: assorted logos utilized by the Detroit Tigers between the formation of the American League (in 1901) and the introduction of a logo, in 1961, featuring a passable likeness of the very large feline.

The first logo used by the Tigers (in 1901-02) which attempted to depict that majestic animal is actually perhaps the most successful of these early ones, insofar as the artist in question appears to recognize his limitations — which, as noted above, are really the limitations of his entire race. In this case, one finds only an orange-colored silhouette of the tiger, as opposed to detailed facial portrait.

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Heritage Action has cornered the market on player pages with vaguely patriotic names.

The author can’t recall for sure, but definitely one of the big philosophers — like, probably Epictetus or Jacques Tati — writes somewhere that it ought to be the individual’s first (and perhaps only) concern to obey his True Nature. The precise dimensions of that Nature require some measure of discernment, obviously; that’s a given. Ultimately, though, it falls to that one in search of authentic living to identify and pursue those activities which resonate in his deepest self.

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As noted by MLB.com’s Carrie Muskat earlier today, it’s been years since the Bartman incident — and yet, it persists as one of those unforgettable moments everyone would rather forget.

“We didn’t really understand that The Simpsons was going to become a thing,” says totally not fake TV writer Jake Sharkfins. “We were poor and young and poor. The idea was to extract every last dollar out of the Bart character as was humanly possible. That’s the only reason we condescended to write that shit song.”

While never officially released as a single in the United States, “Do the Bartman” topped the charts in a number of English-speaking countries and also New Zealand. The next year, it was nominated for an MTV Music Award award.

“Ugh, it was terrible,” recounts Sharkfins. “That shit was so annoying. And remember: I’m a person whose not-fake surname is ‘Sharkfins.’ My threshold for being annoyed is pretty high.”

Behavioral science — or, at least the branch of it which one is able to condense into four minutes for the benefit of NPR — suggests that there are a number of likely reasons why a Boston fan might cheer wildly in response to David Ortiz’s grand slam from Sunday night.

Behavioral science — in this case, the sort which requires a full 28 minutes of NPR’s time — also posits that humans are programmed, basically, to feel empathy for those other humans who are in closest proximity to them.

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The author has wasted the last, probably, 25 minutes of his life constructing this poorly formatted survey. The reader is invited to wasted a shorter time than that participating in same.

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The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The A's @athletics knock out Detroit tomorrow. Big. Daddy. Bowe

— Riddick Bowe (@riddickbowe) October 9, 2013

It would be fair, probably, to say that — so far as the tweet embedded here is concerned, courtesy a certain former heavyweight boxer — it would be fair, probably, to say that Riddick Bowe has (ahem) weighed in on tonight’s Game Five between Oakland and Detroit.

Indeed, let no man suggest that Riddick Bowe has pulled any punches in terms of his thoughts on the likely winner of the ALDS contest to be played this evening.

Surely, two-time champion Riddick Bowe is of the opinion that the A’s have the Tigers on the ropes in this decisive meeting.

Credit to CSN Bay Area’s Casey Pratt for bringing the author’s attention to this raw, raw material.

The very talented Adam Wainwright faces the also very talented Gerrit Cole in Pittsburgh tonight at 8pm ET in a deciding Game Five of the NLDS series between the Cardinals and Pirates.

Almost no effort, and even less thought, has been required of the author whilst producing this so-called preview of said contest. And yet, by including the two animated GIFs below — of Wainwright and Cole asserting themselves upon the opposition assertively — that same dumb author has anticipated basically, like, 65% or 70% of tonight’s game already.

Like by means of this one GIF, for example, of Adam Wainwright throwing his curveball for a strikeout:

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Though regarded in our time as the Father of Western Thought, it was by embracing his own ignorance and asking almost exclusively questions of his interlocutors that Socrates sought out wisdom.

Nor has the Socratic tradition lost its relevance as a rhetorical device in the modern age. One finds, for example, in the footage embedded here, Oakland right-hander Grant Balfour utilizing an urgent line of inquiry to better understand Detroit designated hitter Victor Martinez’s impressions of the world.

Asks Balfour of Martinez: “Why the fuck you looking at me, man?” And also: “What’s your fucking problem, man?” One notes immediately the deep similarities between this brief exchange and much of Plato’s Phaedrus.