Current All Stars of Siberian League.

Today was great day in Siberian Baseball League. Due to pleasant weather conditions, only seven games canceled! Here is recap.

In Novokuznetsk, it was close affair, but home team prevailed over Wolves. Not baseball club Wolves — actual wolves, I mean, which invade city with crazy hunger for human flesh.

Due to mining disaster, club from Kemerovo has had trouble recently. Their best player now four-year-old girl. She is maybe to be sold for prostitute, though.

Elsewhere, team from Omsk accidentally go to Tomsk, while team from Tomsk to Omsk. Said best player from Omsk, Jaromir Shlemenko: “God is cruel. Life is terrible. I die now.”

Tomorrow is big game for Novosibirsk. Their best player is on disabled list with addiction to Krokodil.

The following tweet, which concerns a real and not fake report regarding Masahiro Tanaka’s negotiations with certain major-league baseball clubs, is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

Because he’s only watched a third of it, the author can’t guarantee that there isn’t some manner of dirty sexy business secretly inserted into the video embedded here.

What the author can guarantee, however, is footage of the following:

• Rey Ordonez; and
• John Franco; and
• John Franco’s Impetuous Moustache.

Credit to citizen of the internet @_mistermet for alerting his brothers and sisters to this video.

Given just a few relevant biographical data points, basically anyone with even just a cursory knowledge of market research could reliably and accurately identify the present author’s tastes — which are little more than a function of his demographic signifiers.

“Wears fashion spectacles,” such a one might suggest. “Prefers natural foods,” that same one would continue. “Unutterably alone,” he or she would rightly conclude.

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The author has always assumed that Seth Meyers, long-time member of Saturday Night Live and matriculating host of NBC’s Late Night program, was someone who possessed sense. Because he (i.e. Meyers) is from New Hampshire, perhaps is why. Or perhaps because he attended, if not an important university, then at least a nearly important one.

So far as indicators of good sense are concerned, however, there are few more telling ones than a deep and abiding affection for 1986 NES game RBI Baseball by Tengen*. If the promotional video embedded here is full of truth and not lies, then it would appear as though Seth Meyers possesses such a love inside his body — as does Michael Schur (né Ken Tremendous), against whom Meyers claims to have competed regularly while the two were colleagues at SNL).

The relevant passage begins at 0:33.

*Which game was apparently known as Pro Yakyuu Family Stadium in Japan, the internet announces.

As both William Randolph Hearst and, more recently, Rupert Murdoch have demonstrated unequivocally, there are absolutely no moral consequences — neither on a personal nor more public scale — to appealing constantly to the desires of the masses.

That being the case — and as a response to interest in the left-hander by Houston supporters this offseason (whose club possesses the first-overall pick in the 2014 draft) — the author has embedded here what appears to be the most recent extant footage of NC State pitcher Carlos Rodon. Rodon, in this case, appears to be protecting both (a) American freedom and also (b) a first-inning tie this past July against the Cuban national team — striking out (on a slider that’s been documented previously in these pages here and here and also here) an unidentified opponent en route to 6.2 scoreless innings.

In this site’s day-old tradition of slightly modifying and re-packaging headlines from FanGraphs.com, the author presents the following and hastily made slideshow, which serves as a definitely unnecessary response to Paul Swydan’s recent piece regarding the current state of the Boston Red Sox.

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Earlier today, managing editor Dave Cameron published a post entitled Revisiting a Blockbuster That Was Actually a Heist, in which he (i.e. Cameron) examines the trade that sent Ken Griffey Jr. from Seattle to Cincinnati in exchange for Mike Cameron and other assorted pieces.

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Baseball, streaming live and in Technicolor.

Probably like how Wallace Stevens was always of more than one mind anytime he saw some blackbirds in a tree, so the reader, provided he or she is a reasonable sort of person, is of more than one mind every time he or she considers MLB.TV.

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Reports from the weekend suggest that recently retired NBA player Tracy McGrady has no little interest in playing professional baseball — and is likely to do so this season for the Sugar Land Skeeters of the independent Atlantic League.

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