I don’t think it’d be particularly controversial to suggest that baseball’s news coverage is often absurd. Certainly, at this point in the MLB calendar — not quite into the depths of the Hot Stove League, but too far removed from the end of the season to make any interesting comments about it — the value of reportage from baseball’s front lines can be questionable.

In any case, it appears as though one beat writer understands this. Boston Herald writer Mike Silverman’s twitter account features the following announcements, spaced out by approximately 40 minutes:

And:

Encore, Mike Silverman. Encore.

Word from the internet is that ESPN: The Magazine will soon be publishing a film-themed issue — featuring, among other things, Mariner ace Felix Hernandez and Mariner other player Garrett Olson (pictured above) as Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega, respectively.

It may surprise the reader, however, to learn that ballplayers are no strangers to film. In fact, a number of current or recently retired players have actually found themselves quite involved in the motion picture industry. Below are some notable — and super-not-made-up-at-all — cases of Major Leaguers and their respective contributions to this popular medium.

1968: An infant A.J. Pierzynski appears briefly in title role of Roman Polanski horror film Rosemary’s Baby.

1998-99: Pedro Martinez stars in two-year-long meta-film, exploring what might happen in the event that a mortal were given god-like capabilities.

2002: Apropos of nothing, Ebert & Roeper give Alex Rodriguez two thumbs down “for being kinda douchey-seeming.”

Late-2000s: Mustachioed Brendan Ryan, hoping to develop reputation as serious actor, is instead frequently typecast as bandito.

2014: After retiring from baseball, middle infielder and scrapaholic David Eckstein goes on to successful career as child actor.

H/T: News Tribune

If there’s one thing that men aged 18-34* like to do, it’s champion glorious facial hair. Like, if instead of Republican or Democrat, a candidate ran as a member of the Sweet Mustache party, that candidate would almost definitely dominate the aforementioned demographic. That’s just good, common-sense thinking.

*That is, the demographic we’re attempting to indoctrinate here at NotGraphs.

Anyway, on account of this true truth, you can imagine the sort of outcry that cried out when a Fanshot very similar to the following appeared at Brew Crew Ball yesternight:

Read the rest of this entry »

From a pure baseballing perspective, there are few reasons — outside of Starlin Castro and maybe Geovany Soto — to like the Cubs. They are, generally speaking, an assault on the senses.

Well, turns out that the Cubs are objectionable for other reasons, too. Wading through the most recent news cycle, careful readers will notice that not only is it possible that the team gave former Cub star Ryne Sandberg less than the fairest of shakes while hiring for their managerial vacancy, but also that the club — fronted by new owner Tom Ricketts — is asking for some $200 million dollars in bond-backed funding from the State of Illinois.

Now, it needs to be said: I, Carson Cistulli, am nothing like an expert on the economics of sport; however, having read just enough Andrew Zimbalist to be dangerous, I know that public-funding for stadia is rarely of any benefit to the states/municipalities/whatever that are doing the funding. Moreover, Illinois appears to be in the midst of a fiscal crisis — so, that’s a thing, too.

Former MLB GM and current crack TV personality Jim Bowden details for the unwashed the exact goings-on of the GM Meetings, taking place this very second in hell-on-earth beautiful Orlando, Florida.

If you don’t have time for — or can’t access — the video, here are some things I learned from it:

• Every GM is permitted one weapon.
• The film Caligula, starring Malcolm McDowell of A Clockwork Orange-fame, was actually based on the sordid events of the 1978 GM Meetings.
• When he was a GM, Jim Bowden didn’t play golf during the Meetings because he was always, and I quote, “bangin’ in the rooms.”

H/T: The Real Dirty

2K Sports, makers of sporting video games, have announced via their Facebook page (and maybe some other places, too — I don’t know) that Roy Halladay will grace the cover of MLB 2K11.

The news demands at least three questions, which I ask below and attempt to answer:

Q. Is it possible to announce that Roy Halladay will be on the cover of MLB 2K11 without making it just seem like a giant advertisement for the game?
A. That’s tough. I’m going with “yes,” though.

Q. Is grace only ever used as a verb to describe how someone’s on the cover of a book or album or periodical or something?
A. I don’t think so. It’s also common to say that so-and-so has graced us with his/her presence. Still, its usage is pretty specific.

Q. How will the game compare to MLB ’11: The Show?
A. Probably not excellently. Also, Kevin Butler won’t be in the commercials for it.

The thing I like about poems — one thing, at least — is how you can describe interesting texts without actually having to write or read them. Dave Berman does this in his poem “Piano and Scene,” for example, when he invokes a “Russian novel / whose 45 chapters are set / on 45 consecutive Valentine’s Days.” There’s a chance — a strong chance — that the concept of such a novel is better than the novel itself ever could be. At the very least, it requires way less effort merely to write/read the description. And effort, as you’ll know, is the enemy of the enthusiast.

Nor is this merely the case with books; the idea is applicable to all manner of texts. Certainly, it can apply to video games, as Kenny Powers’ Home Run Fiesta: Deep Inside Mexico — an app for the iPhone and iPod Touch — demonstrates.

The game, it needs to be said, never claims to be much more than a thinly veiled promotional tool for Season Two of HBO’s Eastbound and Down, so any criticism leveled against it must be tempered duly. The thing is, were you to tell me about a Kenny Powers-inspired baseball game, were you to say that it featured Powers himself spewing all manner of invective, and were you to continue by noting that said game featured some heavily pixelated and equally tube-topped Latina cheerleaders — well, “excellent to that,” is what I’d say.

Unfortunately — as in the case of Berman’s hypothetical Russian novel — the game itself is unable to live up to the concept. Perhaps its greatest flaw is that the game makes use of the device’s accelerometer. “To swing,” read the instructions, “flick your phone forward. Time your swing carefully, and the faster you flick it, the harder you’ll swing.” Perhaps life is different in your tax bracket, but I, personally, don’t feel comfortable thrusting my iPod all around. Furthermore, there doesn’t necessarily seem to be a strict correlation between the timing and strength of said “flick” and the swing it produces.

Conclusion: promising concept, probably impossible to realize. Use of accelerometer is awkward and unnecessary.

As mentioned previously in these electronic pages, Rick VandenHurk — along with Oriole teammates Jeremy Guthrie, Adam Jones, and other ballplayers — is currently holding instructional camps in VandenHurk’s native Holland.

Of course, this is hardly the first time Major Leaguers have made an effort to spread the gospel of baseball. In fact, there’s a long history of players either introducing the game, or merely seeing the sights, abroad. Below is a list of in-no-way fictional instances of such travel.

1927: For reasons unknown even to him, player known only as “Marlow” — an outfielder for the Marshall Indians of short-lived Lone Star League — is compelled to take symbolically charged boat-ride into heart of Congo.

1948: Warren Spahn and Johnny Sain take tour of pre-MLB Pacific Northwest, where less popular phrase “Spahn, Sain, and definitely rain” is coined.

1988: Recently retired slugger Reggie Jackson takes ambassadorial tour of West Africa, where he’s addressed by locals as “Mr. Hori.”

2008: Very wealthy Red Sox John Henry owner does own grocery shopping for first time in quarter of century. Is surprised by “life-like quality” of everything.

2010: Before each start, Colby Lewis pays visit to Interior Castle, a journey detailed by Spanish mystic Teresa of Ávila in book of same name.

In the event that you’re unaware, side-arming Brave Peter Moylan has a blog. To say that it (i.e. the blog) represents a “literary achievement” would be an overstatement. To say that his most recent post, however — in which he documents his transition from Twins farmhand to weekend-leaguer to actual Major Leaguer — to say that it “contains wisdom” would be entirely accurate.

Specifically, it’s this line I’m talking about:

Nobody from Australia gets a second chance.

If you’re not immediately roused, try saying it aloud in the voice of Cobra Kai sensei John Kreese. That might work.

In any case, I don’t know if it’s true, this thing about Australians. But it seems true.

H/T: Talking Chop

This video is the only one on the entire internet that (a) features Met managerial candidate Wally Backman but isn’t also (b) riddled with invective.

Other videos, such as this one of Backman getting ejected from a game during his one-year stint as manager of the unaffiliated South Georgia Peanuts, appear to be some kind of amazing Dadaist experiment in filth.

Note: while all the videos are pretty excellent, they’re suitable for work if and only if you’re employed as an insult comic.

H/T: Mike Silva and Playing for Peanuts