Not only can the new Windows 8 operating system allow you to split the screen with two programs, but it can provide splits for unsplittable statistics:

The YouTube commenters can fight all they want about Mac vs. PC, but I think the more serious issue here is that of ERA versus lefties. How does that work?! HOW DID WINDOWS BREAK THE CONTEXT-DEPENDENT CODE?! DO EARNED RUNS COUNT AGAINST A PITCHER ONLY IF THE PLAYER ON BASE IS A LEFTY? WHAT IF THE THE RUNNER IS A SWITCH HITTER?!

Windows knows.

BACKSTORY: After the Detroit Tigers acquired the final out against the Tampa Bay Rays last Friday, third baseman Miguel Cabrera mimed appeared to mime, but may not have mimed the signature “arrow shot” Rays closer Fernando Rodney performs after each save (a gesture that appears to be an oblique tribute to his late father).

On Saturday, Miguel Cabrera faced Fernando Rodney and the Katniss-esque flamethrower had a few pitches go high, one going high and tight. Cabrera did not appreciate the pitches.

On Sunday, Tigers pitcher Rick Porcello of the 4.7% BB-rate hit his second batter of the season. It was with two outs in the first inning; it was the first pitch to Ben Zobrist. Both dugouts received a warning.

Then, in the bottom of the 8th, Miguel Cabrera came to the plate.

JOE MADDON, THUGGIN’: Joe Maddon had two relievers warning. He had his 8th inning setup man, Joel Peralta, warming in the ‘pen. He had his hard-throwing karate-master, brawl-champ, GIF-via-fight machine Kyle Farnsworth warming.

Kyle Farnsworth entered to face Miggy. Then this happened:

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I’ll whip any of you nerds if I’ve got my boi Luigi on the mound. Just try me.

On Saturday, Munenori Kawasaki went 2 for 4 with his first North American home run. Toronto — known for its steady-crooning citizens — responded to Kawasaki’s hitterly feats with a pair of carefully crafted renditions of “KAWuh-SAki; clap clap clap-clap-clap.”

This has been your weekly, godly dose of Munenori.

He's arrived. Wil Myers called up to the #Rays. #WelcomeHome

— Tampa Bay Rays (@RaysBaseball) June 16, 2013

Hey. He lost his big feather.
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Robert Bauman introduced it, I’ma start it. A NotGraphs crew including myself, Carson Cistulli, Robert J. Baumann, Jeremy Blachman, David G. Temple, Mike Bates, Patrick Dubuque, Navin Vaswani, and Eno Sarris drafted teams we considered to embody the NotGraphs spirit (and then also possibly win an a no-holds-barred, not-previously-delineated-rules-wise fantasy season).

Without further ado, I present the Woodrum Whiteys!

Follow the jump to see my notes from the draft.
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Who has a career OBP above .400 and the greatest batting stance in the NCAA?

My boy, Alex Buccilli of Coastal Carolina:

According to The Baseball Cube, Buccilli’s stance — a product of a sport’s psychologists suggestion to build a routine — has resulted in a career .358/.473/.477 slash (860 PA). His Coastal Carolina team has a combined .271/.370/.354 slash. His league, the Big South Conference, has a .274/.350/.366 slash.

Well done, Buccilli.

More GIFs below.
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Munenori Kawasaki is an international treasure. He is the kind of person UNESCO names a world heritage site. He has graced the sport of baseball like a meteorite of majesty and has pebbled our humble earth with GIF, video clip, and quote in his beautiful contrail.

On Sunday, Muni went 3-for-5 with a game-winning, walkoff double against the Baltimore Nonemploying-Kawasakis. A cadre of Toronto Kawasakis met Kawasaki in the middle of the field, and Cananada’s Torontoist city stirred and sparkled with the glory of Muni. For some reason, the television crew elected to interview Kawasaki utilityman Mark DeRosa instead of Kawasaki shortstop and game-winner Munenori Kawasaki.

But DeRosa knew. He had seen the glimmering majesty.
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The ancient solar dish had finally collapsed. Rusted from years of neglect and then welded into barely workable shape after a late resurgence of concern and dependency, the large rotating metal solar panel bent over and cast a plume of moondust three hundred feet into the air.

“That’s not good.” Dexter, who worked the center bunker, watched the plume rise. “Do we have other power sources?”

Michael radioed back from the starboard bunker. “There’s the thermal generator.”

“Will that be enough? Do we need to fix the solar dish?”

“Fix the solar dish!” Rafael’s voice crackled through the radio. It was Rafael’s record on the line. “Low power means low shields. Get some equipment and fix the dish.”
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