TOKYO — All of Japan is buzzing with news from the capital today. RHP Yasuhiro Ogawa, SS/3B Shingo Kawabata, and OF/Giant-Man-Bird Tsubakuro were all in attendance as the Yakult Swallows unveiled their new alternate jerseys.

“I definitely like to wear lighter colors,” Ogawa said. “I think the lighter colors are easier to wear in summer (day) games.”

Even though the Yakult Swallows lack any green colors in their normal uniforms, Kawabata felt the alternate uniforms will help them better match their surroundings: “The field is green. The fans (wearing free replica jerseys) will be green. I think more teams are looking for a chance to wear green.”

But not all the players were excited about the change. Fan-favorite and science-abomination Tsubakuro looked visibly displeased despite offering the party’s platitudes:
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Here is the collection of important news necessary to be a competent speaker about world events while attending cocktail parties and intimate office affairs, such as secret fight clubs.

MLB Trade Rumors Permanently Discredited

The UN Council of Free Press announced that popular baseball transactions and rumors blog MLB Trade Rumors would be permanently barred from the international list of accredited news sources, known as LUNAN. The barring appears to be a direct result of this link, which shows MLBTR is guilty of citing four pages worth of Dayn Perry links.

Hyun-Jin Ryu Sings in a Song

ICYMI: Ryu Hyun-jin's latest song http://t.co/sg7RAzjai6 (I think he's the 3rd one that sings in the beginning??)

— Dan (@MyKBO) January 6, 2014

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(INTERNET) — Holy crapballs.

Finally something to watch in the offseason. Need an accompanying tune? Give this a go. It’s New Years Day. You should be home. So don’t complain about NSFW lyrics.

Thanks to DRaysBay writer D. Russ for sharing this.

Of course it’s not news to those of us who spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day reading RSS feeds about MLB transaction news in a not-so-subtle way to avoid lengthy or even short conversations with loved ones and in-laws, but for those NotGraphs readers without crippling agoraphobia, here is what you need to know: The Great Munenori Kawasaki re-signed with the Toronto Blue Jays, inking a minor-league deal with a shot at a bench job in the majors.

This is important, obviously, because it means love and hope are still a thing. It also signifies that rock isn’t yet dead, and that dreams do come true. And though he’ll be a Japanese person playing for a Canadian baseball team, his possible return to the majors does indeed confirm the American Dream is alive and well and the bounties of capitalism are rich and sweet.

And with the assurance in our hearts that world peace is not only possible, but frankly expected within our lifetime, we here at the NotGraphs Transaction Analysis team wish all readers a merry new year and the happiest of holiday conclusions.

Check out the Draft Registration post or peruse the links at the bottom of this-here post to understand the context.

You know me; I’m an honest guy. I had every intention of posting the results from Year 10. But here’s what happened: I simmed up to Year 10; I surveyed the prospect carnage before me; and I knew immediately the dream was dead. Out of sheer pity, I went ahead and proceeded to Year X, the year in which the all the prospects had retired. And because the vast majority of prospects had retired by Year 10, I needed sim only three more years until the deed, like holding a pillow fast over the throat of our baseball dreams, was done.

Or maybe not.

After the simming, it became apparent two careers had bloomed late and we indeed had some legit major leaguers on our hands. So instead of going through the 17 spoiled careers of our custom-made prospects, I’m going to lighten the tone and celebrate the mildly successful careers of two of our young men: 1B Fred Hamilton and INF Andrew “Swede” Osborn.
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Seriously?

Our crop of 17 prospects has withered into a near nothingness, a throbbing blight of the minor leagues! We have a combined 0.3 WAR in the majors — over five seasons. Basically, Jerry “Juice” Loose reached the majors in 2015, pitched 29.0 innings, got injured, and never returned to the majors. That’s our combined career MLB experience.

Here’s a look at our miserable scouting report:

And the miserable statistical outlay of our players across all levels:

But before you say to yourself, “Well, hey, there’s some solid numbers in here,” just know: None of these players are in Triple-A. Perrywinkle, Wiggin and Osborn spent most of the season in Double-A, and everyone else was lower.

Go ahead and set the mood near your computing device — put on a vinyl of eerie Baroque music, light some candles and dab a light pale white foundation on your sallow cheeks and eye sockets — because here comes our most depressing, emo Top Five:
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So here we are. A new year. The third year. When we began this little adventure through OOTP, things were looking good, things were coming up all Bradley. John Donne had just ranked No. 2 in the No. 1 in the prospect lists, and I was looking like a prospect genius.

But I think now we can agree, but clearly this game has many flaws. The first of which allow me to illuminate:

I believe on the merit of that very clearly flawed assessment of Yuniesky Betancourt we can deign to assume John Donne is still probably the best prospect of this whole system, if not of all time.but I am honorbound to play the game according to the rules. And as such I will offer henceforth a prospect list that utilizes the rating systems projection systems of OOTP, even if it is very apparent to me that justice has been usurped and genius has been restrained.

Here are the ratings for our dear 17 prospects:
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Year 2! Year 2! Year the second!

In the comments of Year 1, Ol’ Double R axed:

Any way to see our pre-draft profile? You know, the one when the draft list is released? Or at least our scouting history?

So, what the heck, right? We’re doing this for fun. So here’s this:

Uh oh.

For whatever reason (not including the possible reason of data entry error; this I double-checked), some of the prospects did not have quite the prospectiness of other prospects. I am open to suggestions that might improve this in later editions.

Go below the jump for a more detailed look.
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DJ Kitty,
nominated for Best Movie
in a bus
in South Korea.
How–
     a paw to my lips
               says sometimes it’s better
                              not to ask.

Thanks to Erik Hahmann, who passes along this photo via means of human carrier pigeon, Carson de Cistulli.

The 2013 season has concluded for our mystical NotGraphs OOTP Fantasy League. Here is a look at the entrants that made it into the first draft:

We started with 17 five-star prospects, and we are down to just 2 five-star prospects. Jerry “Juice” Loose is still projected to be a five-star reliever and my humble top overall pick, John Donne, has retained five-star status because, let’s be honest, he failed to sign with the Houston Astros and is still benefiting from Shiny New Tow Syndrome.

Here are the top five prospects in my estimation, as well as the player cards for all the remaining players:
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