Author Archive

An Overzealous Review of The Extra 2%: Chapter 5

Albert Lyu and Carson Cistulli are overzealously reviewing colleague Jonah Keri’s forthcoming book, The Extra 2%. Feel free to read parts one, two, three, four, and five of what critics are definitely not calling “late for dinner.”

In what follows, our handsome gentlemen discuss the takeover by Stuart Sternberg and Friends of the Rays — and like 10 other things Carson doesn’t understand.

***

Cistulli: Chapter five — as you’ll know by now, Albert — concerns the takeover by Stuart Sternberg of the Rays in 2005 and two of his earliest hires: Team President Matt Silverman and Executive Vice President of Baseball Operations (a.k.a. Mega GM) Andrew Friedman. The unique thing about this triumvirate is that the bulk of their pre-Ray experience came not in baseball operations, but in the financial sector — and, specifically, investment banking.

I’m not lying, Albert, when I tell you that a number of my high school classmates are involved in this line of work; nor’m I misleading you even for a second when I suggest that my understanding of i-banking and its attendant culture is limited by a combo package of willful and totally unintentional ignorance.

Really, Albert, my knowledge of professions is limited by a single criterion — namely, if there’s a Lego character for it or not. Farmer? Teacher? Fireman? Io frigging capisco. Consultant? I-Banker? Charlie Sheen?* No so much.

*Note: Relevant pop-culture humor!

Albert: I thought Charlie Sheen wasn’t an actual job anymore. So you’re off the hook, Carson, if you have no idea what a Charlie Sheen does in a typical day of work. As far as Twitter pics can tell me, at the least.

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An Overzealous Review of The Extra 2%: Chapter 4

Albert Lyu and Carson Cistulli are overzealously reviewing colleague Jonah Keri’s forthcoming book, The Extra 2%. Feel free to read parts one and two and three and/or four of this literary tour de force.

In what follows, our interlocutors discuss the short, but mostly troubled, episode in history that was the Rays’ performance in the amateur draft before the Sternberg takeover.

***

Cistulli: Albert, I feel compelled to begin our discussion of chapter four (entitled “New Blood” — a.k.a. almost, but not entirely, the name of the first Rambo movie) by noting that the brief intermission between our most recent and the current posts is not, as a reader might suspect, due to our lack of zeal concerning Mr. Jonah Keri’s book, but actually due to an overabundance of same.

In point of fact, since we finished our exchange last Friday afternoon, I’ve been almost entirely incapacitated by exhaustion, and have just now crawled to my keyboard and typed out this brief message. Am I wearing pants? Hard to tell.

All of which is to say: for those who buy this book, maybe ask your girl* to clear all your appointments for the day.

*Also, make sure you still live in the year 1963 before you refer to your secretary as “girl.”

Albert: Carson, I feel likewise, not that the book has been a toll — it has been a wonderful read thus far, the chapter-by-chapter review — it’s almost like too much vacation, too many Hawaiian sunset beaches, too long of a spring break, too many non-alcoholic Pina Coladas, that you just need to spend a few weeks at home just chilling or playing Pro Evolution Soccer or taking a quiet walk around the neighborhood, just so things are, you know, a little bit different.

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An Overzealous Review of The Extra 2%: Chapter 3

Albert Lyu and Carson Cistulli are overzealously reviewing colleague Jonah Keri’s forthcoming book, The Extra 2%. Feel free to read parts one and two and three of the series that’s sweeping — if not the nation — then at least behind the TV where a lot of dust builds up.

In what follows, our intrepid duo attempts to understand the giant and real-life brain teaser otherwise known as original Devil Ray GM Chuck LaMar’s player personnel decisions. Neither Messrs. Cistulli nor Lyu — nor FanGraphs, generally — are responsible for injuries to the human spirit as a result of this discussion.

***

Cistulli: Hey, Albert, pay attention and stop doing terrible things to that dog. The sound you hear is the people demanding that we continue our sprawling and genre-defining review of Jonah Keri’s book.

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An Overzealous Review of The Extra 2%: Chapter 2

Albert Lyu and Carson Cistulli are overzealously reviewing colleague Jonah Keri’s forthcoming book, The Extra 2%. All those interested in L-ing OL would do well to read parts one and two of the series.

In what follows, they examine original Devil Rays owner Vincent Naimoli’s baddest behavior in a manner that critics are describing as “almost intelligible.”

***

Cistulli: I’m telling you something you already know, Albert Lyu, when I tell you that chapter two of Jonah Keri’s The Extra 2% is dedicated almost exclusively to the very poor behavior of the Rays’ first owner, Mr. Vincent J. Naimoli.

I don’t know for a fact, but I’ll assume, that this was a fun chapter for Jonah to write, as it’s mostly just an anthology of anecdotes — all concerning a man who, while, by all accounts, was a savant of thrift, had absolutely no concept of brand management.

With a view towards celebrating Naimoli’s exploits, allow me to propose a fantasy-type draft, Albert, wherein we select, alternately, our 10 favorite Naimoli-related events.

You find this idea amenable, Albert?

Albert: Amen, Carson. I will assume that this is neither a rotisserie, H2H, or linear weights points-based league and that the criteria is entirely up to our own personal interpretations. Your move, Cistulli.

Cistulli: As you anticipate, I’ll not only take part in, but will also judge the winner of, this faker-than-usual fantasy league (the winner of which will receive an ice sculpture of Michelangelo’s David with vodka coming out his you-know-what).

Also, because I’m the inventor of this idea, I choose myself to draft first… And with pick No.1 of this entirely make-believe draft I’ll take Naimoli Hates Internet.

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An Overzealous Review of The Extra 2%: Chapter 1

Yesterday, Albert Lyu and Carson Cistulli were overzealous about the prologue of colleague Jonah Keri’s forthcoming book, The Extra 2%.

In today’s edition, they’re overzealous about chapter one.

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Albert: So today, we take on chapter one, in which the author discusses… some very business-y, government-related, big-picture earth-shattering franchise stuff. As a baseball fan, I know that the Marlins and Rockies were 1993 expansion teams and that the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays were 1998 expansion teams. However, I was either (a) much too young to remember the expansion era (as in the first case, 1993), or (b) much too young to understand anything about that era (as in the second case, 1998). So it’s nice for Jonah to take me on his time-machine portal thingamabob back to those years when several cities were lusting after MLB teams.

The whole St. Petersburg lobbying and dying for a baseball team reminds me, just a very, very, very little bit, of reading about the secret meetings Brooklyn Dodgers’ owner Walter O’Malley had with Los Angeles representatives. Carson, as a (much) older man than me, how were those expansion years in the 90’s for you as a baseball fan? Was it exhilarating and thrilling? As in, history-in-the-making thrilling?

Cistulli: While, as you kindly note, I’m a very old person, I was actually only — what? — 13 when the Marlins and Rockies were introduced to the league. And though, as you might imagine, I was very mature for my age and possessed no little affection for the men’s fashion best described as “business casual,” my thoughts on the matter weren’t particularly nuanced, basically amounting to:

1. They’re just allowed to make new teams? Who knew!

and

2. Those are dumb colors for baseball teams.

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