At Bat ’11: iPad App Review

Four views. No view.

Staying with a friend who doesn’t have cable but does have an iPad, so it was time to see what post-season baseball on the ‘Pad would look like. It’s also been a long couple of weeks on the road, and my thoughts no longer come fully formed. Here, then, are my notes, which taken in sum can provide a review of MLB At Bat ’11, the iPad app from MBL.tv — or at least hopefully they will.

* Man this resolution is terrible. And I can’t figure out how to improve it. Is this my problem? Am I already this old? Am I fat-fingering ‘e-mail thingermerbobbers’ after my dial-up finishes screeching? I can’t be. Can I put this in the review?

* Chase Utley is so dreamy. How can he be so ruggedly handsome and yet finely coiffed at the same time? Is it the pomade? Is it the soul patch? And then his game is so saber-friendly. If only he weren’t a Phillie.

* Whoah, what happened. I was staring longingly into Utley’s eyes in box four. Something happened in box two! They’re talking about it on the audio feed. Why won’t someone show me what happened?!!

* Never realized how addicted I was to instant replay and the ability to pause live television. We haven’t had these things my whole life, and yet here I am, tearing my hair out because Chase Utley’s siren-like soul-windows were singing to me. And I missed something.

* I don’t even know what the score is. Oh, here comes the handy in-screen box score to help. That’s nice.

* The in-screen box score takes up about a third of the screen. And my rabbit brain can’t remember the game state for more than twenty seconds. 1) Jesus. 2) I actually like the little television graphics that tell me what’s going on?

* Well, yes, maybe, but that doesn’t mean I like the Fox dancing robots or anything.

* I literally can’t tell where the pitches are landing or what they were. I don’t feel like switching from Gameday to this.

* Tony La Russa seems a little on edge. Albert Pujols will come over and stand next to him but no other players have the cojones it looks like.

* Getting kind of tired of watching Tony La Russa pace around the dugout. Why can’t I figure out how to change my view options? What is going on? The doo-hicky is not whatchamacalling! And I want to throw this doodad out the window!

* I want my five dollars back.

* Is this some sort of “iPads are not computers” moment? I’m so locked in. It’s all either in or out with one button and ‘help’ button. Where are Preferences? Tools? Options? I want options!!!

* Oh man I missed something again. The little blips are running around in the field and the audio feed is going crazy. This is stupid. I can’t even pause the feed.

* Now the television dudes are talking about some replay they are watching. Must be nice. Instead I get to watch morose Phillie players kick at the dugout floor.

* Okay maybe not the five dollars, that doesn’t even buy a beer in most bars. But this time of my life, that I might want back.

* Hope they sold enough of these to either edit the MLB.tv feed or license back the TBS feed next year. Cause this… this isn’t right.

* Much respect to the video editors in the booth. So much of our game-watching experience depends on them finding the right view at the right time. Not having that is painful.

* Well at least I got to see a lot of (a fuzzy) Chase Utley.