Ask NotGraphs (#16)

Dear NotGraphs,

Who is Brian Dozier?

Thanks,
A Danny Valencia Owner

Dear Person With a Terrible Fantasy Team,

Brian Dozier likes hockey.
I know this because Brian Dozier likes Twitter.
Brian Dozier has a solid walk rate.
Brian Dozier majored in accounting.
Brian Dozier has a winning smile.
Brian Dozier doesn’t have shoelaces.
Brian Dozier is first in a wave of “new Twins.”

Brian Dozier is not the reason Danny Valencia may be losing his job. Danny Valencia is the reason Danny Valencia may be losing his job. I like Danny Valencia. He’s on my Scoresheet team. He’s in my lineup against lefties.

Do not fear Brian Dozier. Brian Dozier does not fear you.

Good luck,
Jeremy

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Well-Beered Englishman
12 years ago

The really important question: is it pronounced “doe-zher” or “doe-zee-ay”?

cantpitch
12 years ago

Here in MN we have been pronouncing it “doe-zher”.

And “Dear Person With a Terrible Fantasy Team,” made me laugh out load, and then shed a little tear.