Ask NotGraphs (#16)
Dear NotGraphs,
Who is Brian Dozier?
Thanks,
A Danny Valencia Owner
Dear Person With a Terrible Fantasy Team,
Brian Dozier likes hockey.
I know this because Brian Dozier likes Twitter.
Brian Dozier has a solid walk rate.
Brian Dozier majored in accounting.
Brian Dozier has a winning smile.
Brian Dozier doesn’t have shoelaces.
Brian Dozier is first in a wave of “new Twins.”
Brian Dozier is not the reason Danny Valencia may be losing his job. Danny Valencia is the reason Danny Valencia may be losing his job. I like Danny Valencia. He’s on my Scoresheet team. He’s in my lineup against lefties.
Do not fear Brian Dozier. Brian Dozier does not fear you.
Good luck,
Jeremy
Have a question for Ask NotGraphs!? I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel, so please send! About baseball, not about baseball, I don’t care, and maybe it’s more fun if it isn’t about baseball at all. E-mail me, or leave your question in the comments!
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
The really important question: is it pronounced “doe-zher” or “doe-zee-ay”?
Here in MN we have been pronouncing it “doe-zher”.
And “Dear Person With a Terrible Fantasy Team,” made me laugh out load, and then shed a little tear.