And Then There Was This

Here was the great Red Smith’s lede the morning after the Shot Heard ‘Round the World:

Now it is done. Now the story ends. And there is no way to tell it. The art of fiction is dead. Reality has strangled invention. Only the utterly impossible, the inexpressibly fantastic, can ever be plausible again.

And here is the just awful Dayn Perry’s lede the morning after the Busch Putsch:

Nerp taaaaa duputoah ploopy snaarfgort baseball loorfgack the fuck? Derpy derp holy grappertom snarfglop. I am shitting out of my stupid mouth.

And so I am left with my drool, my indignities, my gaping maw, and this:

Baseball is love and religion and sex and food.