Actual Thing: Ron Gardenhire Day in Minnesota

Jehovah’s Witnesses of the Upper Midwest are collectively kicking themselves today after Tim Pawlenty — Governor of the State of Minnesota — declared today to be Ron Gardenhire Day in the Land of 10,000* Lakes.

*Note: an approximation.

“In his declaration,” writes MLB.com’s Kelly Thesier,

Pawlenty pointed to the fact that Gardenhire, like [former manager Tom] Kelly, has made throwing strikes and playing sound defense the foundation of his teams. Over his nine seasons as the Twins manager, the 53-year-old Gardenhire has a career winning percentage of .550 with a record of 803-656.

The recognition comes just a week after Gardenhire won his first American League Manager of the Year Award.

While all the good people of Minnesota will no doubt have their own special ways of commemorating the beloved Gardenhire, the generally accepted custom is to spend the day addressing friends and relations by their “locker-room name” — a form constructed by adding “-y” to the first syllable of an addressee’s surname. By this method, Justin Morneau becomes “Morny“; Michael Cuddyer, “Cuddy“; and Nick Blackburn, perhaps regrettably, “Blacky.”

When asked how to address people whose last names already end with a “-y,” the governor’s office replied that it’s probably best “to ignore such people entirely.”