A-Rod and Jeter Talk A.J. Burnett

A.J. Burnett got rocked. Again. By the Baltimore Orioles, no less.

Burnett’s August numbers are straight ghoulish. He’s allowed 30 runs in 22.2 innings, and 44 hits. Forty-four. So long, WHIP! August opponents — Baltimore, Minnesota, Kansas City, Los Angeles, and Chicago — have teed off of A.J., to the tune of a .415 batting average.

While the New York Yankees remain a lock for the postseason, Burnett’s teammates have had just about enough. In the second inning of Friday night’s game in Baltimore, NotGraphs’ omnipresent Investigative Reporting Investigation Team overheard the following conversation between Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez:

A-Rod: Baltimore, man. Baltimore.

Jeter: I’ll be honest. I miss her.

A-Rod: What? Oh, Minka. Focus, Captain.

Jeter: Sorry. At least he cut his damn hair.

A-Rod: Good point.

Jeter: This is why I’m The Captain, and you’re not.

A-Rod: So, A.J. had an opt-out in his last contract. You think Cashman negotiated one for himself? Something’s got to give.

Jeter: The Captain doubts it.

A-Rod: Again with the third-person stuff? I wish we could send him back to Toronto.

Jeter: That’s not going to happen. Burnett’s the type of player, with the type of contract, that Alex Anthopoulos trades, not acquires. Let’s face it: We’re screwed.

A-Rod: He’s so overpaid.

Jeter: We’re Yankees, Alex. We’re all overpaid. Especially me. And Jorge. Definitely Jorge.

A-Rod: Second baseman Jorge! But, I mean, really overpaid.

Jeter: Minka.

A-Rod: What?

Jeter: Nothing.

A-Rod: Permission to call A.J. “Irene”?

Jeter: I’ll think about it. Let’s talk after the game.

A-Rod: Cool. I borrowed Cashman’s Objectivity Pipe. I’ll bring it.

Jeter: We’re going to need it.

Image credit: Reuters, via daylife.