Regard the theatrical release:

Regard, below the jump, the director’s cut:
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Prince Fielder hit a home run against Brandon Morrow a few minutes ago. Among the people impressed by Fielder’s home run was Prince Fielder himself.

To wit:

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Talented Mets right-handed prospect Zack Wheeler is pitching today (Saturday) against the Nationals in a spring training game. After four batters, he’s walked one and struck out two, including an inning-ending strikeout against Washington’s Chady Tracy — action footage of which strikeout was captured by the author.

Pitch No. 1: A fastball at 96 mph (although maybe 98 mph, it’s hard to make out) taken for strike one.

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The first game of MLB.TV’s spring broadcast schedule has begun. While Shaun Marcum and not, as the author previously suggested, Zack Wheeler is starting for the Mets, the game still features Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper and (I guess) Ruben Tejada, who just homered, somehow. Also, it really does appear as though Wheeler is due to pitch.

Congratulations to us, is the presiding sentiment so far as this information is concerned.

Tulane freshman right-hander Daniel Rankin made the first appearance of his college career about 15 minutes ago. In so doing, he introduced America — or at least, like, 1/100,000,000 of America — to his leg kick, which it might be fair to describe as “enthusiastic.”

In the song “Piazza, New York Catcher” from their album Dear Catastrophe Waitress, Belle and Sebastian (and frontman Stuart Murdoch, specifically) make specific references to a Mets-Giants game.

Question: are Belle and Sebastian referring to a real or imagined Mets-Giants game? And, if it’s the former, can we identify which game?

First, let’s consider what we know — both from information in the song and with regard to Piazza himself.

We know:

1. That, owing to references in the song regarding Piazza’s sexuality, that it (i.e. the song) was almost certainly written after May 22, 2002 — i.e. the date on which Piazza held a press conference (following a New York Post story) to declare his heterosexuality.

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Being a fan of comedy jokes, I am a fan of the television show Archer on FX. I realize that adult animation (not that kind of adult animation) isn’t for everyone, but if you haven’t checked out at least a few episodes, I suggest you do so. It’s on Netflix Instant, if I’m not mistaken.

The reason I’m bringing this up is that the show made a reference last night to baseball. Archer makes, perhaps, 150 cultural references per episode, but I don’t remember one regarding our favorite game. I won’t give too much away, but it involves a lengthy homage to the movie The Natural.

Could it be that the show’s producers are baseball fans, and used this opportunity to celebrate the coming of another season? I am not privy to this information, but I like to think so. I do know that I enjoy this show and baseball a great deal, and always like it when my cultural worlds collide.

Again, if you haven’t seen the show, please watch a few episodes. If you are a regular, but haven’t seen the most recent, you (as always, really) are in for a treat.

If Carson Cistulli is reputed for his love of obscure prospects, my own affection has always tended toward the other end of the spectrum, the retired and forgotten ex-player. And as someone who regularly underperforms his own peripherals, the author has always had an especially soft spot for one Dave Bush, Starting Pitcher and Eternal Disappointment.

It may be difficult to recall now, but the mid-aughts were a time of heady optimism: of winnable wars, steady economic growth, people who were or looked vaguely like character actor John C. McGinley, and pitchers with strong strikeout-to-walk ratios. First among these, for the hipster baseball fans, was Dave Bush. Bush was the fantasy sleeper of the fantasy sleeper age, someone whose numbers never quite added up. They still haven’t.

Bush grew older, as did we all, and hope dwindled. It all came to an end the day when he set a major league record by giving up four consecutive home runs to the Arizona Diamondbacks, dropped his glove like a microphone, and disappeared alone into the desert. That’s why when I chanced upon his player page, this line leavened my heart:

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To think about a piece of music critically is to wonder about where it came from, to an extent. Not only how does it make you feel, but how did the artist feel when making their art? In other words, why? Why did they do this thing. And to consider the why leads eventually to the should — should this person have made this music? If your answers to these two questions are interesting and affirmative, respectively, you probably have yourself a song worth listening to. You could really say the same of most types of art, and eventually you might consider the criticism itself with those same questions.

I have no idea why Trevor Bauer made this music as part of the duo consummate4sight, and I don’t think he should have. And yet, only bad things will come of my critique of his art, and so therefore I’ve joined this conundrum that he created. Or maybe it’s my fault.

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Thinking about Daisuke Matsuzaka in one’s own mind is generally an unpleasant experience. Not only has the Dice-K of recent years been decidedly mediocre, he has also been shockingly deliberate en route to mediocrity, requiring more time between pitches over the last three seasons than any other starter with 100-plus innings.

As the footage below demonstrates, however — of a 19-year-old Matsuzaka in his first-ever professional appearance — this was not always the case. There was a time when Matsuzaka was resplendent, like a diamond that’s resplendent — and also has arms, too.

Like here, throwing a 96 mph fastball by Atsushi Kataoka:

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