In the immortal words of Danny Trejo in Anchorman, “Ladies can do stuff now, and you’re going to learn to deal with it.”

Included in the stuff that the ladies can do is become fans of baseball. In fact, various sources estimate that the percentage of sports fans of the female persuasion is around 45%, a very significant portion of the baseball consuming public, and therefore, the baseball apparel consuming public.

You don’t often see women shopping in the Men’s department of a department store. One would think, then, that there would be a substantial potential market in making women’s apparel. However, much of the apparel available to women is similar to that of the lady in the above picture: pink. Other than that, women are either forced to buy the super-expensive Alyssa Milano-brand items or wear the same shirts and jerseys as the men.

Who cares about what I have to say about this? I barely even know what a hem is. Instead, we’ll venture somewhere FanGraphs has never gone before: into the brain of a real, live woman. I asked Royals fan and blogger Minda Haas of the aptly named www.mindahaas.net about her feelings on the state of MLB apparel for women and pink apparel in particular. Follow the jump to see what she has to say.

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In the event that you’re unaware, side-arming Brave Peter Moylan has a blog. To say that it (i.e. the blog) represents a “literary achievement” would be an overstatement. To say that his most recent post, however — in which he documents his transition from Twins farmhand to weekend-leaguer to actual Major Leaguer — to say that it “contains wisdom” would be entirely accurate.

Specifically, it’s this line I’m talking about:

Nobody from Australia gets a second chance.

If you’re not immediately roused, try saying it aloud in the voice of Cobra Kai sensei John Kreese. That might work.

In any case, I don’t know if it’s true, this thing about Australians. But it seems true.

H/T: Talking Chop

Dubya and the Mick watch Jeter winning the 2006 Gold Glove.

Topps wants your vote to determine their 60 greatest cards of all time. No write-ins, though — they’ve preselected a field of 100 candidates.

There will probably be controversy/grumbling about the cards up for consideration. What makes a baseball card “great” is pretty personal. Market price might be one objective index of greatness, and I imagine many of the highest-priced vintage Topps cards are among the finalists here.

However, knowing basically nothing about baseball cards, I’m just going with my gut. Some notes in preparing my ballot:

1. 1985 Roger Clemens: Imagine Roger Clemens isn’t wearing his cap in this photo, and that instead of his jersey he’s wearing a jacket and tie. Freeze that in your mind. That insincere half-smile, with the hands-on-hips pose, is what I look like in all photos taken of me at weddings.

2. Topps used the same headshots for Roberto Clemente in 1955 and 1956 (also Ted Williams), but Sandy Koufax got a fresh picture in ’56. What gives?

3. 1961 Roger Maris: Roger Maris, the man, has a shirt collar sticking out from underneath his jersey on one side only, and he’s wearing a facial expression that is sinister, but in the same moment, kind of sleepy, and his head is bursting out of a newspaper article, and that article is about Roger Maris, public icon. An evasive portrait of two different men, joining paths at an historical and personal crossroads.

That’s just what I thought when I looked at that one.

4. Baseball card collectors really enjoy collecting Mickey Mantle baseball cards. He’s the protagonist of a whopping 16 of the 100 cards.

5. Extending the above thought: This baseball card pantheon seems to honor players that captured fans’ imaginations, and it probably does so more accurately and honestly (or at least differently) than lists of statistical leaders or Hall of Fame inductees. Who are the players with the highest deltas between fan inspiration and on-field accomplishment? Jose Canseco, Bo Jackson, and Fisk/Munson come to mind.

H/T: ESPN Page 2’s Chris Olds.

This video is the only one on the entire internet that (a) features Met managerial candidate Wally Backman but isn’t also (b) riddled with invective.

Other videos, such as this one of Backman getting ejected from a game during his one-year stint as manager of the unaffiliated South Georgia Peanuts, appear to be some kind of amazing Dadaist experiment in filth.

Note: while all the videos are pretty excellent, they’re suitable for work if and only if you’re employed as an insult comic.

H/T: Mike Silva and Playing for Peanuts

Back in early September, the Mariners Double-A affiliate — hitherto known as the West Tennessee Diamond Jaxx — changed their name to the Jackson Generals, both as a nod to an earlier incarnation of the team and also guns.

Now, the team would like to utilize the public’s collective imagination.

Boom, reportage:

The Jackson Generals have a new bulldog mascot and he needs a name. If you have an idea, complete the entry form with all required information and include a name you want to suggest for the mascot.

Grand Prize:

-Two (2) season tickets to 2011 Jackson Generals home baseball games

-The opportunity to introduce the mascot on opening day (April 13, 2011)

-A pizza party in the Grand Prize Winner’s classroom

In the event that you’re saying aloud, right now, “I am super desperate to hear Carson Cistulli’s thoughts on this particular matter,” well, you’re in luck, reader, on account of how I have (a) some free time and (b) a computer.

First of all, that prize confirms a suspicion I’ve long held — namely, that people will do any sort of thing for a pizza party. Though I haven’t stated it expressly in these pages, I’m not afraid to admit that I am, in fact, paid for this job not in dollars but in pizza. Believe me when I say I make some serious dough. Amirite?

Second, I’ll announce here that, on account of I’m an American wordsmith, I’ve personally submitted some ideas to the team.

Boom, creativity:

• Martial (or Marty, for short)
• Bell, The Bellicose Bulldog
• Jackson, The Dog That Oversaw the Forcible Removal of the Cherokees from Their Tribal Lands

Third, and less flippantly: there’s probably a smart and sensible discussion to be had here with regard to the use of military imagery in sport — the motivations for doing so; the differences between consumer-friendly cartoonish images like the one above and other, more realistic representations; how veterans themselves respond to portrayals of the military in popular culture.

Like I say, someone could have those conversations. Seeing as the blog form isn’t particularly friendly to informed conversation, though, I’ll opt instead just to crack wise and then hit publish.

H/T: Ben’s Biz Blog

Living in North Carolina, I see a lot of Tar Heel blue, I hear a lot of UNC talk, and I am confronted with a lot of articles about Chapel Hill’s basketball team in the local papers. This season preview, though, is a bit different.

The first game of the 2010-2011 season for North Carolina basketball will be in Chapel Hill on November 12 against Lipscomb. Expectations are high that this year’s Tar Heels team is an improvement on last year’s. They’ll be bringing back a group that played 43% of last season’s minutes and adding the efforts of 3 Top 100 recruits, including #1 Harrison Barnes. North Carolina has the largest deficiency in rebounding where they lost 64.3% of their output. Equally as concerning is three point shooting, where they also lost a big 63% of last year’s output.

The AP gives the Tar Heels a #8 ranking in their preseason AP Top 25 poll. They weren’t ranked in last year’s final poll. North Carolina closed out the last season with an overall record of 20-17, placing 9th in the ACC with their 5-11 conference record. The Tar Heels lost to Georgia Tech 62-58 in the ACC tournament. They then went to the National Invitational Tournament (NIT) as a #4 seed, losing in the Championship game to Dayton, 79-68.

It’s pretty standard preview information, just without a whole lot of extra flare. In fact, you could safely say that the writer of this piece has no personality, because the entire article was “written” by an algorithm. This was computer generated content from start to finish, with the only human involvement being in the coding of the formula that created the story.

TechCrunch has a write-up on the compnay today, explaining the basic idea behind the concept. They are a data collector who has decided to turn their warehouse of numbers into content by using formulas to mine through the interesting information about a specific college basketball team and write season previews or game recaps, among other things.

While the piece isn’t overly interesting, I expect that this will become something of a trend in the future. Using play-by-play data and a decent algorithm, you could come up with a pretty solid recap of any sporting event. It won’t have any player quotes, of course, but as the world moves away from paper and towards digital content, it would not be hard to imagine a shift away from reporters getting quotes and transcribing them into a story, as providers instead just embedded full audio or video of a press conference next to the automated recap.

If I was a beat writer, this would scare me to death. I don’t know if this is the future of journalism, as good writing will always find an audience, but this is almost certainly part of the future of sports coverage.

Yankee GM Brian Cashman’s recent visit to free agent Cliff Lee’s home in Arkansas has been well-documented by the sporting news media; however, as smarter baseballing fans will already know, the Yankees’ overtures for the star pitcher certainly don’t represent the first instance of a team attempting to situate itself within the good graces of a coveted player.

In fact, since the inception of free agency in 1976, clubs have gone to great lengths to convince players of their (i.e. the clubs’) sincerity. Below are five totally not fabricated examples of such activity.

1989: Oakland proposes to Rickey Henderson an ambitious clause that would forbid the trade not only of Henderson himself but also of any baseball card bearing his image.

1995: Rockies GM Bob Gebhard learns entire French language in effort to retain services of slugger Dante Bichette. The downside? Bichette is actually from West Palm Beach. The up? Gebhard can now read all those smutty books the French are always writing.

1999: Talks with talented outfielder Shawn Green fall apart after Rays GM Chuck LaMar realizes his promise to show Green the “cool part” of Tampa is impossible to fulfill.

2005: Mike Scioscia performs drunken karaoke rendition of “Johnny Angel” to then-free agent Johnny Damon. “Simultaneously disgusting and beautiful,” raves LA Times music critic Mark Swed.

2010: Brian Cashman shows Cliff Lee the actual gazillion-dollar bill with which the latter would be paid.

Picture = approx. 4 words.

Will Carroll has an intriguing think piece at Wired.com about Microsoft Kinect’s potential to bring biomechanical analysis to the masses.

If you’re not familiar with Kinect, which launched last week, it’s an add-on device for the Xbox 360 that allows you to control Xbox games with your body’s movements. Unlike the Nintendo Wii, Kinect doesn’t require you to hold a wireless controller — cameras in the device track and interpret your movements. Kotaku has some good Kinect coverage if you’re interested.*

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Carson Cistulli has recently “become literate.” Allow him to celebrate his new skill by sharing selections from his reading list.

Text: A Brief History of American Sports. (Click here for Google Books page.)
Authors: Elliott J. Gorn and Warren Goldstein
Pages: 290
Pages Discussed Here: Preface and pp. 1-23

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The bat Kirk Gibson used to hit his walk-off home run in game one of the 1988 world series has two days left to go until “extended bidding” and now sits at a pretty $139,015.

In the world of baseball bat memorabilia, it’s fetching a pretty decent sum, but is still off by a factor of 10 when compared to the world’s most expensive bat: the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his first home run at Yankee Stadium. ($1.3 million)

The shirt Kirk Gibson was wearing while he hit the home run is currently at $129,690, while his road uniform for the 1988 world series seems a relative bargain at $6,050.

Personally, I think having a world series trophy sitting on the mantle would be pretty cool.